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Random
When you and your bro go to the gas station to get some sushi...
You, me, gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course! UH OH! There was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish, HORNY FISH. Y'know what that means... Fish orgy! The stench drives in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight, bear handed, bear... NAKED!? OH YES PLEASE. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. Then we ride it into a Chuck E Cheese. DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION. Revolution? Overthrow the government? UH, I THINK SO. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, WHITE OUT (which I didn't know you could do...) Then I smoked a joint, GREENED OUT, turned into the sun. UH OH, looks like the METH is kickin' in. seizure noises
People who constantly deflect accountability and blame other people or things for their problems.
Tom and Britney are a couple of not-me-yous, couldn’t accept any blame in the situation.
when someone tells on your cap
cap me out means, for example, i told my buddy to lie to my girlfriend and tell her im going to the store to get groceries but im really tryna get sum pussy so i told my boy to cover for me but he said hell nah he gettin pussy
The polar opposite of a pick-me.
A person who's extremely humble, selfless and down-to-earth to the point where it's straight-up irritating. Like, stop being such a sweetheart.
"happy birthday pookie <33 Here's ur gift. Hope u like it"
"NAHHH PLEASE NOOO I DON'T DESERVE IT. IT'S OKAY IT'S FINE HOMIE."
"but it's ur bday, I'll be a wa-"
"PLEAAASEEE YOU HAVE IT THANK YOU SO MUCH BUT NO THANK YOU I LITERALLY INSIST 😭"
"Don't be a skip-me you prehistoric piece of meatloaf"
Someone imposing rules on others while consciously breaking them themselves, like telling someone to stop doing something mean to them while doing the same mean thing to many others seconds ago.
A and B: *Pushes C*
C: *Pushes in self-defense*
A: "Stop pushing you stupid son of a bitch!"
B: "Yeah! Moron!"
C: "You were LITERALLY pushing me seconds ago!"
A: "It's cuz you're lower leveled than us!"
B: "Haha n00b!"
C: "Rules for thee but not for me."
(Based on a real interaction with a couple of people in a game. Words said here don't completely match with what was said in the game.)
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The request from one sexual partner to another to put on his black Jedi robe and whine like Anakin Skywalker about why he hates sand during sexy times.
“Tell me what you want!” “Talk sandy to me!!”.
When you get scared shit-less, it literally scared the shit out of you.
Pacifica: you got so scared during that movie.
Tom: of course i did! It was terrifying! That movie scared the shit outta me!