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If you're a true Liquor Captain, fill mug to this line.^
One who drinks alcohol at a rate that would cause the average person to black out, but isn't phased. The Liquor Captain sets full sail to the liquor winds.
"Man, Tristan is a fucking Liquor Captain. He had 20 beers and he's perfectly fine. Most people would be passed out by now but Tristan is still taking shots of Jim Beam."
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James.
James is a captain.. and a seaman... therefore he is captain semen.
captain semen is the best captain ever!
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Borrowing from other Captain ranked negatives(see Captain Obvious and Captain Hindsight) a Captain Schultz is the douche canoe at the worst end of the dish it/take it spectrum. Usually running a joke/prank farther in the ground than acceptable to even the least socially adept individuals (Ex. Carrot Top, Jeff Foxworthy, or an adult with downs that has been telling the same knock knock joke for 27 years) upon having the same joke/prank pulled on him, stomps around throwing a bitch fit big enough to sap the fun out of any environment.
Usually when someone overreacts to something, the natural reaction is to do it more, not with this person, once you have viewed the sad state of affairs in the wake of their unrelenting diatribe, you call it a loss agree to never walk that forsaken path again.
Carl: You know how Randy thinks its still funny to hide people’s shoes?
Don: You didn’t…
Carl: I did, but I just moved them over a foot and put a towel over them.
Don: That explains it. You need to put the shoes back. He promoted himself to Captain Schultz over it. He smashed open the coffee maker looking for them.
Carl: If he just looks right next to where he put them he will…
Don: Not worth it, just return them, we’ll have someone else tell him they are back. Lets never speak of this again.
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Captain Granite, urban God, is a guy who's head is as hard as it sounds. All to protect his tiny little brain for any more brain damage.
He rather goes through a wall instead of around it. Doesn't take no for an answer.
Better not to mess around with because, he is like a ton of bricks falling from the heavens.
Where he thinks that he belongs. Next to Zeus.
I met Captain Granite once, and I am still waiting for this nightmare to pass. It's like living in a tomb.
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A being from another world who slays women on a dailly basis.
To gain the title Captain Moonrays you will need to have had sex at least several hundred times.
Obama currently has the title of Captain Moonrays as he has slayed many women in his time.
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A dog who is kind of stupid but people still love him
Do you see that dog Captain Caramel? he isn't really that bright but we still love him.
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When a lady is relaxing in a hot tub and strikes a Captain Morgan pose next to a jet.
I caught Anastasia in the hot tub striking a Captain Morgan pose
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