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Random
A day where you HAVE to masturbate, the date is May 7th
"Holy fuckin shit bro National Masturbation day is today"
"cool"
Circle jerk at military school
You ready for masturbation formation tonight? Laundry day is tomorrow.
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A individual so weak minded that has nothing better to do than to masturbate to the cuts on his body.
Alejandro is such an emo masturbator I'm going to get a ppo on him .
When using soy sauce for lube and seasoning you chicken with your personal semen
Hey John, how was the Chinese masturbating while eating your fried rice
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An attempt to pointlessly satisfy an irrational urge in the short term.
(where in the long term on further reflection you realise it to be truly unsatisfactory)
"Sometimes I try to masturbate a really long or difficult word into a sentence just to feel I'm smarter than I actually am!"
When you proceed to jack your pet off and eventually use your mouth until they ejaculate
Mike attempted to perform pet masturbation but did it to hard and got bit
A person providing social commentary aimed at enforcing said person's superior knowledge and ethos of current moral / values and that which is politically correct. Social mastrubators are often failed / undiscovered political journalists and band together on social media where the opportunity to point out where a politically incorrect view is raised.
That tweet brought out social masturbators in full force.