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The Skrillex Hair Pandemic is a global pandemic caused by Skrillex Hair Disease (SHD). The disease was first noticed when it officially broke out with the release of the song Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites in late 2010, and since then, the disease has only spread throughout 6/7 continents in the world. SHD is the first global-scale pandemic to break out since the Swine Flu pandemic of 2009.
The World Health Organization (WTO) first announced the outbreak of SHD was in the United States of America in early-mid 2011.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the California Department of Health managed to track the disease to over 15 California counties during the first week of the outbreak.
As of December 2012, the WTO confirmed that the disease spread to every country of the northern hemisphere. The WTO also confirmed the United States of America to have the most confirmed cases of Skrillex Hair Disease in the world because of the enormous amount of fat ugly white girls who don't know what to follow.
In March 2012, the CDC gave SHD a Pandemic severity index of 3. In April 2012, the severity rating was raised to 4 and in June, the severity was rated as a category-5 Pandemic. The index of SHD has lowered over time as little American white girls realize that they are stupid to shave the sides of their head in the first place. As of April 2012, the Pandemic reached a severity level of 2 on the Pandemic Severity Index.
Stupid 13 year-old girl with half her head shaven because she wants to be origional and unique but little does she know that thousands of other dumbass bitches like her are doing the same thing for the exact same reason: OMFG SKRILLEX IS THE COOLEST ARTIST IN THE WHOLE WORLD AND I WANNA DO LOTS OF NAUGHTY THINGS WITH HIM IN MY BED!!!
Epidemiologist 1: See, she has Skrillex Hair Disease.
Epidemiologist 2: Another victim has been taken by the Skrillex Hair Pandemic.
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A legendary conspiracy which took place between 2019 & 2022 A.D. against workforce members, incited with propaganda produced by fascistic communitarians posing as caring humanitarians in an effort to gain undue control over Earth’s economies.
Independent Thinker:
“The way politicians across the globe took advantage of the Covid-19 Pandemic was a draconian display of insecurity & arrogance.”
Retired Baby Boomer:
“No it wasn’t, you’re just paranoid.”
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The one and only Taylor Swift who did The Man MV, Miss Americana documentary film, Folklore album with Cardigan MV, Evermore album with Willow MV, Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions and Fearless (Taylor's Version) album all within a year.
Taylor Swift proves herself the queen of pandemic productivity
Swift has now cemented herself as the queen of pandemic productivity.
A right wing extremist belief that the COVID-19 pandemic was started by a left wing conspiracy to topple Trump.
This is a left wing pandemic born in a Wuhan lab and we all know it!
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Hopefully in the post pandemic reality, people remember what they forgot during the pandemic, that they never needed normalcy or hope. The dysfunctional lives most of us led before somebody tried to pause them and make them normal will return, and because most people don't think the sky is going to fall because they see a condo building collapse on the news, they won't need a celebration of hope, or a daily dose of hope to be happy. They will be happy without it, knowing they never needed it, since hope and positive/boundlessly optimistic thoughts are for weak people and cynics.
The post pandemic reality won't be a new normal, it will be the same old dysfunctional world some people have forgotten they missed. Nobody will miss what they are told the new normal is, nobody will miss the wildfire spreading, or what they are told the new world order is. The old stuff is still around.
When ur getting smoked up and u start begging for ur life
The goated French line from ainsi bas la vida
Pandemic leng
I love the pandemic, yeahhhhh fushi
an event where it's controversial to step outside
Person #1: "Alright Imma just head ou-"
Person #2: "no you cant do that, there is COVID-19 Pandemic you'll get sick reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"
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