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The obscene number of corona infections and deaths in the United States on January 20, 2021—the dejected President-Loser’s last day at the White House, who thought that lying about the coronavirus, prescribing “miracle cures,” and spewing out conspiracies would reduce his chances of being rejected and ejected.
Covid-19 couldn’t wait to hand over the one-term president’s Covid-20/21 report on his irresponsible and inept handling of the pandemic crisis—whose last day falls on a palindromic date (1/20/21).
A Public Health term: an easy to understand concept that dumb motherfuckers still ignore.
DOCTOR: Sir, your physical exam is fine, but your COVID test is positive, meaning you are an asymptomatic COVID carrier. Do you wear a mask?
ME: Asswhaaahh, bruh? Naw, I feel good! How a mask gonna help? My ass ain’t infected!
DOCTOR: I wouldn’t recommend wearing it there. You strike me as a pleasant, but obnoxiously stubborn man. As an ASS-CO (Asymptomatic COVID) carrier, you’ll need to quarantine yourself for two weeks and wear a mask more consistently, to prevent the airborne spread of COVID. Also take these pills.
ME: Quarra-what? Ass Mask whaaa? Masks kill people! Nobody wore a mask and lived, EVER! Masks are just a fuckin conspiracy from the MMI (mask manufacturing illuminati). …wut Pills?
DOCTOR: Magic Brain Pills (MBPs) that will temporarily make you smart enough to wear the ASS-CO mask over your mouth AND nose. As we cheerfully say in healthcare, “Don’t be a dumb cunt who can’t wear a mask correctly!”
Like "Typhoid Mary", COVID Vicki spread disease by not exercising proper social distancing. Instead of staying home, she started dating a new man and went on trips with hoax-believing relatives who didn't wear masks.
We couldn't hang out with COVID Vicki for 14 days after her last trip upstate with her new BF, Larry.
A person who is generally unappealing during "normal" circumstances who is more attractive due to lack of human interaction (SEE: VISITING-YOUR-PARENTS CUTE; AIRPORT CUTE)
"I just went for a walk and saw this hunky guy; he's COVID-Cute 7, so like a New York 3."
When a group of 2 or more individual hang out together that are not part of the same household.
The government does not allow you to be with people that are not part of your household. So therefore if you hang out with anyone you have a chance of spreading covid-19.
Want to have a covid party?
Bob and Kate just met, they must be having a covid party.
The people who attended the Trump Rally in Tulsa were close enough to blow Covids onto one another. Its was a genuine Covid Blowfest
A dream in which Covid exists and you become aware of the risks. You may be in a crowd and suddenly think "...Wait... why is nobody wearing masks??? Why is nobody socially distancing????? Oh my god they're coughing too!!!!!!! I'm going to catch Covid oh my god!!!!!"
"I had another Covid Dream where I was on a cruise ship and there were like 500 people in one enclosed room, no masks, nobody distancing... and then I heard some of them coughing!!! And then I found there was no way out and I was stuck in this room where no Covid precautions were being taken!!!