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When you feel blah after staying up all night and partying with your friends and you think you might have covid. The next day is shot. While laying on the couch most of the now afternoon, you think that rather than going to the store and getting a covid test kit (ludicrous), you cut to the chase and assume you have covid. Then you talk about how you have covid for a few days. You garner support from like minded-lazy, but pragmatic-suspious types like yourself. You start walking around like you are ill. Maybe take the day off from work. Maybe a week. How much sick time do you have? Maybe you don’t go home for the holidays. Plane tickets are expensive. Sleep in your shitty childhood bed? Maybe your neighbors bring you soup. You could get used to this. Until the next time you get to party with your friends.
I’m seriously testing positive for Covid after that party last night. I’m fucking spent!
Someone who has picked up the sport of golfing since the beginning of covid lockdowns as a means of getting out. Such person has also convinced themselves of superior athleticism, because they have packed 8 years of experience in a two year period.
Justine is a covid golfer. She's a decent player from playing 5 games of golf every week since picking it up due to free time from covid.
WHEN ALL THE PRICE GONE UP ON FOOD, CLOTHES, DELIVERY AND SERVICES INCLUDING ADULT SERVICES SINCE COVID LOCKDOWN HAPPENED.
AND ALL BUSINESSES BLAME COVID FOR WHY THE PRICES WENT UP!
Mate, I went to get some services done but I got hit with a covid tax!
The obscene number of corona infections and deaths in the United States on January 20, 2021—the dejected President-Loser’s last day at the White House, who thought that lying about the coronavirus, prescribing “miracle cures,” and spewing out conspiracies would reduce his chances of being rejected and ejected.
Covid-19 couldn’t wait to hand over the one-term president’s Covid-20/21 report on his irresponsible and inept handling of the pandemic crisis—whose last day falls on a palindromic date (1/20/21).
A Public Health term: an easy to understand concept that dumb motherfuckers still ignore.
DOCTOR: Sir, your physical exam is fine, but your COVID test is positive, meaning you are an asymptomatic COVID carrier. Do you wear a mask?
ME: Asswhaaahh, bruh? Naw, I feel good! How a mask gonna help? My ass ain’t infected!
DOCTOR: I wouldn’t recommend wearing it there. You strike me as a pleasant, but obnoxiously stubborn man. As an ASS-CO (Asymptomatic COVID) carrier, you’ll need to quarantine yourself for two weeks and wear a mask more consistently, to prevent the airborne spread of COVID. Also take these pills.
ME: Quarra-what? Ass Mask whaaa? Masks kill people! Nobody wore a mask and lived, EVER! Masks are just a fuckin conspiracy from the MMI (mask manufacturing illuminati). …wut Pills?
DOCTOR: Magic Brain Pills (MBPs) that will temporarily make you smart enough to wear the ASS-CO mask over your mouth AND nose. As we cheerfully say in healthcare, “Don’t be a dumb cunt who can’t wear a mask correctly!”
Like "Typhoid Mary", COVID Vicki spread disease by not exercising proper social distancing. Instead of staying home, she started dating a new man and went on trips with hoax-believing relatives who didn't wear masks.
We couldn't hang out with COVID Vicki for 14 days after her last trip upstate with her new BF, Larry.
A person who is generally unappealing during "normal" circumstances who is more attractive due to lack of human interaction (SEE: VISITING-YOUR-PARENTS CUTE; AIRPORT CUTE)
"I just went for a walk and saw this hunky guy; he's COVID-Cute 7, so like a New York 3."