Excuse for the most embarrasing acts one can do. Often ends with: at the time of the fight, mooning, streaking, gay orgy, party, chumba wumba dance, felching, belching, farting, public Defecation, vomiting, monkey licking, pole humping, and the list goes on and on. Sometimes said as: I'll have you know that me and: the monkey, sasquatch, your girlfriend, or monkey sasquatch girlfriend, were both drunk at the time. If you're a recovering alcoholic, don't use it after you beat the crap out of a liquor store owner.
I'll have you know that I was drunk at the time of the floor buffer incident.
57👍 9👎
shortened form of "Do you know where you are, arsehole?"
Just walk up to someone who appears confused and ask, "Do you know where you arsehole?"
243👍 58👎
Seemingly a simple marketing slogan used by all civil and criminal solicitors, this famous line is actually from Breaking Bad season 2 episode 8. It makes a hilarious appearance in Saul Goodman's television advertisement:
"Hi I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know you have rights? Constitution says you do. And so do I."
It is most commonly used amongst members of the unofficial, imaginary, crack-addicted breaking bad community that every zealous Breaking Bad viewer thinks they are uniquely apart of. The phrase is also the reason that many aspiring students have mistakenly entered the legal profession and incompetently represented and let down innocent people to the blood-thirsty prosecutors.
Friend 1: "This Subway is so terrible they never properly wrap my sandwich, it's literally at risk of falling apart."
Friend 2: "Did you know you have rights?"
Friend 1: "Constitution says you do."
Both friends: "And so do I."
*Friend 1 has just been convicted of gross negligence manslaughter after jokingly pushing their best friend down steep stairs and causing their death. They are in court awaiting sentencing by the judge.*
Friend 1: *anxious and regretful* "I didn't mean to. I can't believe I did that man. I-I-I ca-can't bel-"
Friend 2: "Calm down. Calm down! Did you know you have rights!?"
*Judge looks up in confusion*
Friend 1: *wipes tears from eyes and sniffles* "Constitution says you do!"
Judge: *slams gavel* "Order please!"
Both friends together: "AND SO DO I!"
CONDOMS BROKEN
THE CUM GOES UNSPOKEN
IVE EVEN FORGOTTEN THE PLEASURE
I DONT KNOW WHY IT BROKE OR WHAT IS THE REASON
IM STANDING HERE EJACULATING
A DESOLATE HOLE
WITHOUT ANY TRACE
ITS ONLY THE HYMEN I FEEL
ITS ME THAT I SPITE AS I STAND UP AND THRUST
THE ONLY THING I KNOW FOR REAL
THERE WILL BE CUM SHED
THE MAN WITH A BIG DICK NODS HIS HEAD
THE ONLY FLESH LEFT
WILL GET TORN APART FROM MY PENIS
BECAUSE THE PENIS DOESNT GIVE BACK WHAT IT TAKES
OH NO THERE WILL BE CUM SHED
ITS THE ONLY THING IVE EVER KNOWN
LOSING MY VIRGINITY
WONDERING "HAVE I GONE PREGENANT"
TO FIND THE TRUTH I MUST CLIMB THE NINE MONTHS
LOOKING DOWNWARD FROM THIS DEADLY CUM AND NEVER REALIZING WHY I CUM
the only thing i know for real (is cum)
20👍 2👎
Ok guys let me tell you a epic story, so yesterday i was eating a cat lol
Jose Gonzales i know your seeing this
when a white guy from florida decides to hit all his viewers with his “swagger” with a majestic pose holding his knuckles and finding a way into your girl’s heart
can be also used as a compliment on someone’s picture or as an insult (you can never really tell it apart though)
A: yo did you see that kid’s post from florida where he lookin fly as balls?
B: yeah man, you know he had to do it to em
A tired old gag line to say whenever someone says the word 'liquor'.
Drinkin' Man 1: "Hey, let's go get some liquor!"
Drinkin' Man 2: "Liquor? I don't even know her!"
107👍 31👎