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I'll have you know that I was drunk

Excuse for the most embarrasing acts one can do. Often ends with: at the time of the fight, mooning, streaking, gay orgy, party, chumba wumba dance, felching, belching, farting, public Defecation, vomiting, monkey licking, pole humping, and the list goes on and on. Sometimes said as: I'll have you know that me and: the monkey, sasquatch, your girlfriend, or monkey sasquatch girlfriend, were both drunk at the time. If you're a recovering alcoholic, don't use it after you beat the crap out of a liquor store owner.

I'll have you know that I was drunk at the time of the floor buffer incident.

by Jim E. Junk March 6, 2006

57👍 9👎


do you know where you arsehole

shortened form of "Do you know where you are, arsehole?"

Just walk up to someone who appears confused and ask, "Do you know where you arsehole?"

by yorrick hunt January 31, 2008

243👍 58👎


Did you know you have rights?

Seemingly a simple marketing slogan used by all civil and criminal solicitors, this famous line is actually from Breaking Bad season 2 episode 8. It makes a hilarious appearance in Saul Goodman's television advertisement:

"Hi I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know you have rights? Constitution says you do. And so do I."

It is most commonly used amongst members of the unofficial, imaginary, crack-addicted breaking bad community that every zealous Breaking Bad viewer thinks they are uniquely apart of. The phrase is also the reason that many aspiring students have mistakenly entered the legal profession and incompetently represented and let down innocent people to the blood-thirsty prosecutors.

Friend 1: "This Subway is so terrible they never properly wrap my sandwich, it's literally at risk of falling apart."
Friend 2: "Did you know you have rights?"
Friend 1: "Constitution says you do."
Both friends: "And so do I."

*Friend 1 has just been convicted of gross negligence manslaughter after jokingly pushing their best friend down steep stairs and causing their death. They are in court awaiting sentencing by the judge.*
Friend 1: *anxious and regretful* "I didn't mean to. I can't believe I did that man. I-I-I ca-can't bel-"
Friend 2: "Calm down. Calm down! Did you know you have rights!?"
*Judge looks up in confusion*
Friend 1: *wipes tears from eyes and sniffles* "Constitution says you do!"
Judge: *slams gavel* "Order please!"
Both friends together: "AND SO DO I!"

by bradleysheadissick August 17, 2023


the only thing i know for real (is cum)

CONDOMS BROKEN
THE CUM GOES UNSPOKEN
IVE EVEN FORGOTTEN THE PLEASURE
I DONT KNOW WHY IT BROKE OR WHAT IS THE REASON
IM STANDING HERE EJACULATING

A DESOLATE HOLE
WITHOUT ANY TRACE
ITS ONLY THE HYMEN I FEEL
ITS ME THAT I SPITE AS I STAND UP AND THRUST
THE ONLY THING I KNOW FOR REAL

THERE WILL BE CUM SHED
THE MAN WITH A BIG DICK NODS HIS HEAD
THE ONLY FLESH LEFT
WILL GET TORN APART FROM MY PENIS
BECAUSE THE PENIS DOESNT GIVE BACK WHAT IT TAKES

OH NO THERE WILL BE CUM SHED
ITS THE ONLY THING IVE EVER KNOWN

LOSING MY VIRGINITY
WONDERING "HAVE I GONE PREGENANT"
TO FIND THE TRUTH I MUST CLIMB THE NINE MONTHS
LOOKING DOWNWARD FROM THIS DEADLY CUM AND NEVER REALIZING WHY I CUM

the only thing i know for real (is cum)

by iate7microwavetransformers May 13, 2022

20👍 2👎


Jose Gonzales i know your seeing this

Ok guys let me tell you a epic story, so yesterday i was eating a cat lol

Jose Gonzales i know your seeing this

by Fernandito7648 April 25, 2019


you know he had to do it to em

when a white guy from florida decides to hit all his viewers with his “swagger” with a majestic pose holding his knuckles and finding a way into your girl’s heart

can be also used as a compliment on someone’s picture or as an insult (you can never really tell it apart though)

A: yo did you see that kid’s post from florida where he lookin fly as balls?

B: yeah man, you know he had to do it to em

by theleslor April 3, 2018


Liquor? I don't even know her!

A tired old gag line to say whenever someone says the word 'liquor'.

Drinkin' Man 1: "Hey, let's go get some liquor!"
Drinkin' Man 2: "Liquor? I don't even know her!"

by Figleaf23 September 7, 2007

107👍 31👎