When you're spooning your girlfriend and you reach around and hold her boob for comfort
I was sad last night so I held onto my safety boob and felt better.
Fingering a girl quickly, then smelling your finger to verify if it is safe to go down on her or run for the hills.
Thank God I did a safety sniff, I pulled it out, drug it across my nose and puked right in the bitches face. Had my face been any closer to her diseased hell hole I probably would have drowned on my own puke, what a whore-hound.
69๐ 20๐
A school which you apply to in order to make sure you at least go to SOME college, in case you get rejected from everywhere else.
-Dude, did you get into Stanford?
-No, but I got a full ride to my safety school, Berkeley.
91๐ 30๐
Vocal and widely despised prophet of a fundamentalist ideology whose basic tenets impose a strict ban on getting things done on time, on budget and, above all, enjoying yourself in any way at all.
Gordon: You! Where's your high-visibility vest?
Innocent victim: In the raging inferno that was my office ...
Gordon: Don't give me that! The sign clearly says that high visibility clothing must be worn in this area at all times. No exceptions whatsover. The rules are the rules. They're for your own good, you know. Where would we be without any rules?
Innocent victim (sotto voce): Fucking safety taliban ...
13๐ 2๐
N. An elementary school student designated by school faculty to monitor halls in between any of the following:
class and lunch
lunch and class
lunch and recess
recess and lunch
recess and class
class and recess
The point of the safety program is to maintain a sense of control. Children are thought to behave themselves when they know a goody-goody safety is watching. They are aware that the "safety" will completely taddle their little pants off without thinking twice or give a written warning.
What distinguishes the "safety" from other students is a band of fluorescent, orange plastic which wraps around the waist and diagonally across the chest. A silver or gold badge of some sort is pinned to the band draped across the chest. These badges are of different colors to show rank.
The job of a school safety is to make sure the other students are behaving whenever adults aren't looking.
School Safety: Please walk
Student: Sorry!
(Student whispers to classmate)
Student: That safety better not tell our teacher I was running!
Classmate: What a nerd... NARK!!
16๐ 3๐
another part of tonys masterplan.
everytime i work at a factory i have to watch some piss poor video telling me not to stick blow torches up my nose.
entirely designed to avoid being sued by the terminaly stupid and fuck all to do with safety.
method statement! i'll give you a method statement. i know how to do the job, you dont, thats why you are paying me to do it.
making me write it out in triplicate will not make me any safer. lets face it you wont understand a fucking word anyway you pen pushing desk pilot bastard.
example: making me wear a hard hat when working in a man lift platform. im the highest thing for 20 miles whats going to fall on my head? bird shit perhapse?
66๐ 21๐
A hit song in 80s and the favourite dance of That Guy. It wasnโt as safe as they said it was.
โSafety Dance time โ dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dundun!โ
329๐ 137๐