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The class in which you write paper after paper and essay after essay of COMPLETE BULLSHIT. You gotta analyse the shit out of those poems and you gotta learn the shit out of those plays.
Friend 1: Yo I got English class next.
Friend 2: Pahahahahah, good luck mate.
442👍 17👎
When a culture or place is destroyed by English tourists
Oh fuck. Benidorm just died of English flu.
A precious character from Homestuck that did nothing wrong. Also ex boyfriend of Dirk Strider.
Jake English did nothing wrong.
28👍 2👎
1. Someone who writes two pages for every one page read, and sees some form of symbolism and deeper meaning within every word.
2. Someone who is so terribly biased toward their own comprehension of the text that they mark what their students thought the text meant wrong because it wasn't what they thought.
(usually they are both 1 and 2)
1. It was kinda windy today
normal people: huh, it's windy. I should bring a coat
English teacher: the wind is the spirit and breath of the universe, some tremendously important event is about to occur!
107👍 7👎
If you have ever seen depictions of hell in the bible, this will make it seem like a land of rainbows and sunshine.
English Class makes me want to remove my reproductive abilities so that my children won't know what suffering truly means.
4👍 1👎
Will analyze the shit out of any classic novel or Poem. Seriously, someone could write 'Immy took a book' and an English teacher would think 'oh wow the word 'Immy' is spelt in a way to symbolize political incorrectness...' I don't know how they do it, but they take things so out of context. Coincidentally, context is one of their favourite things in the world. Other than Shakespeare, of course.
My English Teacher spelt my name wrong. Again.
96👍 6👎
A person who puts more thoughts into a text than the actual author did.
For instance: "the curtains were blue"
What your English teacher thinks: "the curtains represent represent his immense depression and lack of will to carry on."
What the author meant: "The curtains were fucking blue."
640👍 60👎