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The greatest excuse that racists use to try to make it look like they're not racist.
Apparently having black friends negates any racist thing you say.
Person 1: Yeah, niggers are always stealing things and killing each other. Fuck those niggers!
Person 2: Dude...what's wrong with you?
Person 1: It's okay, I have black friends. I can say this.
Person 2: I don't think it works that way.
442👍 68👎
somthething your "significant other" will say to you when, realy, they're cheating on you... or maybe they just really don't hav time??
diane: hey you wanna use my pusse tonight?
frank: i have no time..i..err...need to vacuum my mom!!
diane: yea right!! your probably meeting up with jessica!! we're through!! >.<
2 hours later
Frank's mom: frank!! its time for my annual vacuum!!
frank: arrg!! coming mother!!
5👍 19👎
1. The ultimate lame ass excuse when someone asks you to do something. Originally used by a child.
2. A good excuse to use to totally confuse your boss.
Boss: "Jim, get to work on the Johnson account immediately"
Jim (while leaving the room): "I would but I have to go color."
40👍 4👎
mommy i have aids is what you say to mommy when you have aids.
jmal "mommy i have aids."
mommy "ok then jmal."
A phrase you use when people tell you things that you don't give two inches of a crap about.
Dave: Hey, hows it going?
Girl at Bar: Ummm, I have a Boyfriend so....
Dave: Really? I have a gold fish.
Girl: Ok???
Dave: Ya, I thought we were talking about things that don't matter.
20👍 2👎
When your friend offers you a premium inhale on a fine joint
Rohan - Hey Zach, can i have a touch?
Zach - *makes hand gesture towards joint*