Rural Dictionary

townies

Townies are a variation on chavs.
Most lack Wit and intelligence - and as such will be instantly stunned like a shark hit in the nose by an intelligent witty reply or long words, for example; idiosyncratic, esoteric, daetal, tympanic, incandescant. another example (one of a witty remark) would be (and i quote from real life experiances occured by fellow people) "your hair is too long, Blood, why don't you get a hair cut you 'cunt'" "at least my hair colour is the same as my eyebrows" for those who do not understand the cultural reference here, it is between bleach blonde dyed hairanother remark would be "at least i HAVE hair" or "im not going to take fashion advice from someone with no hair at all" this cultural reference is to do with the majority of "skin heads" within townie society.
All townies i have known who do have enough intelligence to get an A grade in any subject (and possibly head off towards a carreer involving more pay than slave wages), have failed due to the stereotypical lifestyle.
The majority of Townies/Chavs will take the outside of your local macdonalds as their very un-humble abode. They reside and take shelter within these places due to many reasons; including the lack of direction in life to do anything interesting, lack of intelligence and as such nothing to do within mid-day other than illigally leave school and such what not, easy cheap food, having no where to go as there are no partys going on, easy to be found by younger townies who are willing to pay the older townies to buy either alcohol or ciggerettes extra money. The majority of townies smoke and sell ciggerettes. if these people did not smoke at all and only sold ciggerettes on its own they would surely make a great profit, however, their intelligence is too low to recognise this fact.
most of these creatures are more nocturnal rather than day walking human beings (however, so are most teenagers who stay up until one in the morning) the majority of teenagers themselves are townies/Chavs. if not they are merely sheep like and cannot decide between townies or what townies have named "grebs" so they rest in a limbo like state merely listening to whatever is In at the time. at night these creatures can be seen making noise pollution at any time ranging from 9-12 pm. also, ALL "muggers" or robbers, thieves and what-not are 17+ year old chavs or foriegn. i state this as a matter of fact, not opinion. also, these people smoke only ciggerettes and not pipes, cigars, and such alike :- possibly due to lack of individuality within their culture. They usually drink cheap beer or cider or vodka, you will never see a townie holding a wine bottle/drinking champagne or whisky. This is due to lack of funds towards inducing drunkeness.
furthermore, Townies often wear tracksuits, expensive jewlery that is accidently believed to be real, T-shirts, and "hoodies". A game of 'spot the chav/townie/future mcdonalds employee' can be won by identifying chavs with their hoods up and pulling up their T-shirts to their noses (is this because they like the smell of body odour? i have no idea) a more logical explanation as to why they do this is that they wish to avoid identification by the police, however, due to no money, these people can only use a certain amount of clothes and as such, their plan has a rather large loophole.
Also, all chavs stand with the same posture, correctly rediculed as monkeylike by certain people who have allready posted. this usually is the back of trowsers/tracksuits being pulled down below so that their underwear can be shown, and so that other younger easily influenced children can think this is cool, and idolize having a lack of pubic hair. These pop-culture sheep also have their hands down their pants for no reasons what so ever, notice how when a girl who has marginal sex appeal noticeable that is not covered by plastic walks past, it is purposefully done that these men advance towards these women and move their hands up and down to extream lengths.
on friday nights they can be found breaking bus-stops by throwing stones at the glass or kicking them in, the more intelligent of chavs will do this behind corners a bit because it is a pressure point on the glass. some townies also have baseball caps - usually worn backwards to show their backwards sexuality. Recently, the definition of Chav has become very elite, and apparently if you do not have burberry you are not a chav. This is wrong, Chavs are easily recogdnisable by the music they listen to, which consists of RnB (rap and bullshit) rap, and hip-hop.
several chavs and townies also idolize "ali-g" however, due to the lack of intelligence of townies and chavs, they actually fail to realise that mr ali is taking the piss or 'mic' out of chavs, this is possibly why he has such a large fan basis. also, most chavs are illiterate, and stubbornly arrogant. This makes them believe they know the definition of every word they hear examples can be shown below - also with several words they use.
These people also idolize "gangsters" of Los angeles and such like. mostly because of their rap music that shows how amazingly "nang" they are. the music is stereotypical and is allways about, love, sex, wealth, drugs, alcohol, or violence. these stereotypes also have an accent and seem to begin every sentance with the word "Yo" this accent is rather silly and seems to prove that chavs are clearly sexually confuzed and speak with semen within their mouths; clear subtle and outragously obvious messages of being gay by chavs include: instantly moving their hands up and down when a female walks past so obviously done on purpose, showing off their lack of pupes by walking around with their trousers down, by having nearly every single album involving a picture of a black person who is muscular wearing no top (example: 50 cents album, which is worth no more than being PAID 50 cents merely to own it), the constant boasts about how they had sex with a female, boasting about having sex even if they didn't actually have sex with anyone and just spreading rumours about it (probably just to discuise their sexuality), constant mistakes within language eg: accidently stating that they were "being nang and going down on their homies, 'blud'" rather than "going down with their homies".
further more, most chavs are harmless, but some do actually carry knives and take their culture too seriously. if a chav speaks to you, you must be quick on your wit, for instance;
"yo blud"
scenario one: walk past him and do not notice, this is considered "blanking" and is an insult, as such, you are in danger of being assaulted.
scenario two: say "what", this is also considered an insult and you are in danger of being assaulted.
scenario three: say "yo, blud/man" back, if you are not a good actor you are in danger of being assualted. as such you can see that chavs are paradoxial creatures.
Chavs are also natural enemies of "grebs" and geeks. this is because they envy the intelligence and power and cultural individuality that these people symbolize.

Examples of townie language.
bruv, (this word actually originates from a los angeles gang
blud, and shows how townies idolize black people, even when
dawg, living in poor conditions of a ghetto and shanty houses)
homie,
posse,
G, (short for gangster)
nang.

by Abdiel_Lucifer May 5, 2006

28👍 22👎