Verbal Dyslexia

When you try to say something and you mix the words up or the letters.

Dyslexia with words.

Almost a Tongue Twister

Instead of:

Going outside to have a cigarette.
You say:

Going cigarette to have an outside.

Instead of:

Lets call Jennifer

You say:
Lest call Jeffiner
----

Sorry, I have verbal dyslexia. Always mixing up my words.

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Verbal Fellatio

Excessive complimenting of an individual or a group for completing a task. Verbal Fellatio takes one of two forms, both equally insulting:

(1) The completed task is so mundane or trivial that the given comment is perceived as insincere.
(2) Closure of the task is a modern day miracle considering the abundance of incompetent personnel that were responsible for the project.

In either case, the person issuing the compliments is an imbecile.

The email sent out by the CEO complimenting the managers on their great work was nothing short of verbal fellatio.

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Verbal Jousting

The act of arguing and fighting with another person verbally.
To trash talk and call one another names.

Verbal Jousting:
Bob: "Billy your nothing but a scrawny little emo queer!!"
Billy Bob: "Shut the fuck up you long nosed ffffaggot!"

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Verbal Vomit

Words strung together to make one either sound stupid or make no sense.

When a person says whatever comes to mind without thinking them through, specially when drunk.

Telling your boss he smells like a turd covered in rotten bananas at the Christmas party after having a few drinks, is a case of "verbal vomit"

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Verbal Slap

When an insult is so surprising and uncalled for, it's the equivalent of slapping someone across the face. See mental slap.

Person One - Yeah, I got a 95 in math last year.
Person Two - So? You slept with the teacher.
Person Three - Verbal Slap!

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verbal diarrhea

A serious disease which, once it has control of a person, causes them to spew forth incoherent babble from the bowels of the voicebox. Often extremely frustrating for the victim and extremely hilarious for the observer.

Compliments to Eric :-) for the examples

"Gugga blugga aorfbb999l! WimblEdon (long 'e') grrfor..bll...gll..."

"It's 90% perception! Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

<yells> "I need to know EXACTLY where your hands are!" ... "I mean the general... area..." <falls over, asleep>

<reads off paper ("flibbertygibbet" is written on the paper)> "Filbert gilbert!"

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verbal handies

When a friend is in an argument this can be used as an easy way to lend aid by using sarcastic questions or sentences that begin with Remember when???....Or didnt you???.... that are damning to the third party in the argument taking place.

I can't believe you ate the last doughnut!(enemy)
Third Party lending aid:::

(Verbal Handies)
Hey bro remember last week when you drank all the coffee?!? That was awesome!
Have you ever drank all the coffee before anyone else had any?!? Mmmhmmm....
Who was the guy last week that drank all the coffee?!? That was pretty messed up....smh