Cross-Locked

When you get cross faded and can't get up.

Hey Jake, James was hella cross-locked last night and couldn't get out of his chair.

shong lock dong

Big black man. Most likely from Africa or the southern part of America.

Is Joshua a shong lock dong?

Hamburger Lock

When you’re quickly eating a hamburger and the bite pieces form together in your esophagus and lock up

Oh man, Rory was having bad hamburger lock, someone gave her the Heimlich maneuver

gauge locking

Putting sometype of lock into someone's gauge earrings. Tip: best targets are people at Hot Topic.

Josh went gauge locking yesterday, he bolted as soon as somebody realized.

lock-awk

Short for locker-awkward, this is when one breaks up with one's middle school significant other and subsequently avoids eye contact whilst both are at their respective lockers.

OMG, guys, ever since I broke up with Joey things have been totally lock-awk. He won't even say hi and I just want things to like before we were together - you know, like two weeks ago.

vendor lock-in

A common rent-seeking practice where vendors design structures and contracts to give them control of customer data and code.

The steps involved in vendor lock-in are:

1) Identify lower-IQ management to engage with

2) Insert clauses into contracts where vendor retains customer data and limit customer access

3) Insert clauses into contracts where code development commissioned by the customer is proprietary to the vendor

4) Say whatever is necessary to ensure customer is at ease with the clauses, but ensure no such record
5) Sell customer's own data back to them, piecemeal

6) Resell the output of the code each time it is run

7) Collect economic profits

Vendor Staff: "The regulators of First Common Bank found evidence of overcharging . First Common needs us to pull account numbers on which customers got hit. I wrote up the query and pulled the data while I was on the phone."

Vendor Mgnt: "That's great. Let's write up a Statement of Work detailing requirements. Put in a long time frame for delivery, like a month or two. We'll price at your annual salary so it looks like we did some math. What is it again, like $127,400?"

Vendor Staff: "We can't charge that."

Vendor Mgnt: "Yes we can. Where else are they getting the data? They don't have it. I personally negotiated the vendor lock-in."

Vendor Staff: "We charged them $127,400 last time."

open locks

To finally have an orgasm after waiting so long

Donna came by last night I got to finally open locks.