Random
Source Code
Random
A squirt of hand sanitizer for one's hands.
Person A: Hey dude, can I get a Covid squirt please?
Person B: I gotchu bro! (as he hands over the hand sanitizer)
It's when you've been trying to sleep with solid-packed sinuses which necessitates you breathing through your mouth all night. After what seems like forever trying to survive all night long, propped up, breathing through your now dry-parched and sore mouth and throat, you get up with Covid-breath which is so bad it could strip the walls of wallpaper, stop a charging rhino in its tracks and back off a zombie in mid-stride. Covid-breath is soon relieved when your cold starts breaking up and you finally start hacking up egg-sized chunks of green phlegm.
"Ugh...I had to breath through my mouth all night..," you say to your spouse as she wakes up beside you.
"Ack!" she struggles to utter. "I can tell (hack, cough). Covid-breath! Back off you foul beast! Back off or I shall be forced to slay you!!!"
When tourism-dependent Nepal reopens Mount Everest to climbers and trekkers despite having the second highest infection rate in South Asia, after India—it has a population of 30 million people and relies on hundreds of foreign diehard mountaineers every year to feed its 200,000 sherpas, guides, and porters.
The Nepalese government has been criticized for being more preoccupied with their party’s in-fighting politics than the coronavirus pandemic—they’re ill-equipped to contain the Covid-🇳🇵situation in the face of zero community based isolation centers and limited ICU beds.
When you feel blah after staying up all night and partying with your friends and you think you might have covid. The next day is shot. While laying on the couch most of the now afternoon, you think that rather than going to the store and getting a covid test kit (ludicrous), you cut to the chase and assume you have covid. Then you talk about how you have covid for a few days. You garner support from like minded-lazy, but pragmatic-suspious types like yourself. You start walking around like you are ill. Maybe take the day off from work. Maybe a week. How much sick time do you have? Maybe you don’t go home for the holidays. Plane tickets are expensive. Sleep in your shitty childhood bed? Maybe your neighbors bring you soup. You could get used to this. Until the next time you get to party with your friends.
I’m seriously testing positive for Covid after that party last night. I’m fucking spent!
Someone who has picked up the sport of golfing since the beginning of covid lockdowns as a means of getting out. Such person has also convinced themselves of superior athleticism, because they have packed 8 years of experience in a two year period.
Justine is a covid golfer. She's a decent player from playing 5 games of golf every week since picking it up due to free time from covid.
A Public Health term: an easy to understand concept that dumb motherfuckers still ignore.
DOCTOR: Sir, your physical exam is fine, but your COVID test is positive, meaning you are an asymptomatic COVID carrier. Do you wear a mask?
ME: Asswhaaahh, bruh? Naw, I feel good! How a mask gonna help? My ass ain’t infected!
DOCTOR: I wouldn’t recommend wearing it there. You strike me as a pleasant, but obnoxiously stubborn man. As an ASS-CO (Asymptomatic COVID) carrier, you’ll need to quarantine yourself for two weeks and wear a mask more consistently, to prevent the airborne spread of COVID. Also take these pills.
ME: Quarra-what? Ass Mask whaaa? Masks kill people! Nobody wore a mask and lived, EVER! Masks are just a fuckin conspiracy from the MMI (mask manufacturing illuminati). …wut Pills?
DOCTOR: Magic Brain Pills (MBPs) that will temporarily make you smart enough to wear the ASS-CO mask over your mouth AND nose. As we cheerfully say in healthcare, “Don’t be a dumb cunt who can’t wear a mask correctly!”
Like "Typhoid Mary", COVID Vicki spread disease by not exercising proper social distancing. Instead of staying home, she started dating a new man and went on trips with hoax-believing relatives who didn't wear masks.
We couldn't hang out with COVID Vicki for 14 days after her last trip upstate with her new BF, Larry.