Random
Source Code
Random
When capcom makes a joke, but with the wrong "your".
Salazar: "I've sent my right hand to dispose of you."
Leon: "You're right hand comes off?"
Alright, everyone get your notebooks out because this is our term today because this means that shit gonna go down, "Son, come downstairs" can go out different ways depending on the race of your parent (usually its your mom) if your white your gonna have that shit like its peaceful mode on Minecraft because they would probably yell at you or something. ANY OTHER RACE OTHER THAN WHITES, NIGGA YOU BETTER START RUNNING FOR THE HILLS LIKE A RUNAWAY SLAVE BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS ABOUT TO DO A MORTAL KOMBAT MOVESET ON YOUR ASS ABOUT TO SEND YOU TO JESUS
IF MOM WAS WHITE
Mom: Son, can you come downstairs?
Timmy: Mom, what the hell do you want
Mom: Timmy, can you tell me why you just killed your teacher? Its a very naughty thing to do
Timmy: What kind of retarded question is that mom? I was doing that shit because I was in a depressed state because of my goddamn teacher assigning me to much fucking homework, you filthy bitch. This conversation makes me uncomfortable and you are bringing my anxiety levels up, mommy
Mom: Ok, son, just wanted to make sure, if the cops come here, remember daddy has his guns downstairs!
Timmy: Ok bitch
IF YOUR MOM WAS ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHITE
Mom: Jamal Martin, get your ass down here before I drag it for you!
Jamal: Yes mom?
Mom: Why the fuck did I get a email from your teacher that you were misbehaving?
Jamal: Oh, its because of-
NEXT DAY
Timmy: Oh look, someone is on a milk cartoon!
The worst and the most awkward question your child will ask you in your lifetime (if you were a parent)
Don't bother lying, they will find out eventually.
Stewie: Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma!
Lois: WHAT IS IT????????????????????
Stewie: hi
Lois: I will send you to jesus
Stewie: I was actually going to ask you something.
Lois: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees?
Stewie: Where do babies come from?
Lois: From a stork..
Stewie: Isn't the baby too big?
Lois: It's a magik stork!
Stewie: That doesn't make sense.
Lois: It does.
Stewie: *GASP* DADDY FUCKED MOM~
Lois: *kills Stewie*
some body come get her some body come get him before i fucking end him
What a less-than-honorable person WOULD like to hear --- i.e., "Approach me and I'll give you money, food, or something else desirable" --- rather than the stern "show yourself peaceably" command uttered by a firearm-wielding lawman.
Delinquent teen in the overnight lock-up: So... what got YOU in trouble?
Second delinquent teen: Oh, I was out raisin' Hell the other night, and Johnny Law showed up, so I ducked into a dark alley and hid behind a dumpster. I didn't hear the cop properly when he called to me --- I thought he'd said, "Come **up** with your hands **out**," so I stupidly dashed right out and ran up to him with my eager hands held out, thinking he was gonna give me a hamburger or pass me a few bucks... instead, he merely slapped da cuffs on me!
A form of severe intestinal illness spread by sharing cheese drenched noodles with a community spoon of questionable cleanliness, usually while backpacking.
Dude, my stomach feels like a spoiled packet of mountain house eggs... must have the mac n' cheese come around from those campfire leftovers last night!