it's not the size of the log, it's the quality of the wood

Referring to penis size.

"Hey Bret"
"Yea Toby"
"I know you got a small penis and I just want you to know it's not the size of the log, it's the quality of the wood"
"Thanks Toby"

Mid-log

The time between one end of the fecal matter is coming out of your ass and that same end touches the water of the toilet.

Mom:
Hey Tom come take the trash out!

Tom: I can’t Mom I’m mid-log!

Forehead Log Plant

The planting of a log of shit on another's forehead.

Josue's great Forehead Log Plant on David left a brown stain that almost got in his hair.

logging data

Taking your log (your penis) and shoving it into some data (a girls vagina). Slang amongst computer nerds.

Ronald: "What were you doing last night"
Hamburgaler: "I was logging data"
Ronald: "Oh awsome!"

log squeeze

To extract poop from one’s anus, with force

I’ll have to call you back later. I’m mid log squeeze.

Soggy log roll

Cum and shit in a freeze. Roll it up before freezing and then place a girl in side and cum over her for a tasty topping

U got soggy log rolled ahah

Swamp Logging

the act of defecating on someone's anus and then having anal sex with them.

After a long night of drinking Hamm's, Gregor needed to defecate, but he was horny. He was destined to go swamp logging.