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This is 3 days before Christmas Day, the 22nd of December, and your last chance of doing any worthwhile christmas shopping before the last minute crowds become suffocating
"right, I've got to do some christmas eve eve eve shopping before town gets too busy"
42👍 4👎
a song that sounds like a swarm of bees stabbing a screaming cat that's being strangled to death by another screaming cat. it's so fuking overplayed that you'll hear it before thanksgiving.
Person 1: (turns on radio)
Radio: *starts playing all i want for christmas*
Radio: iiiiiii don't want a lot for chris-
Person 2: turn it off or perish.
Person 1: but-
Person 2: ITS THE MIDDLE OF FRICKING NOVEMBER TURN IT OFF OR ISTG
35👍 5👎
A four-person minimum gymnastic homosexual feat of strength, endurance, and simultaneous load blowing and collapse. A vertical structure of two human centipedes zipped together at the penii (see docking) that come together when the top two participants kiss to form the pinnacle of the tree.
Eric blew out his ACL because he thought he was strong enough to be the base of a San Francisco Christmas tree.
A great phrase to put at the end of a sentence to confuse people or make your story completely surreal, along the lines of adding "And that's how babies are made."
"So I was going down the street to buy some chocolate, when some jerk almost ran me over in his piece of shit truck, so I pulled him out and punched his eyes right out of his fuckin' head...and that's how I saved Christmas."
116👍 22👎
The most holy night of them all when after a months pain of no nut November and through December a man finally chokes his chicken and lets out his biggest night of the year
Man 1: Yo man you doing No Nut November ?
Man 2: Hell yea gonna get the Christmas Night Mega Bust after.
14👍 1👎
1) A pathetic little twig that's left on the Christmas tree lot on Christmas Eve.
2) Any pathetic-looking thing that might possibly be redeemed with some love.
1) I have no money, so I'm going to wait until Christmas Eve and get me a Charlie Brown Christmas tree.
2) Everyone told Muffy that her computer geek boyfriend was a loser, but now he's pulling down $100G a year--turns out he was a Charlie Brown Christmas tree.
40👍 8👎
Taking too long to do something.
We were getting ready to go to the pub but johnno was fucking around the christmas tree doing his hair..