Monkey Finger

The monkey finger - when you fall asleep with your finger in your girls bum, when you wake up pull out out and bend your finger, the crusty poo will make it look like a monkey finger

Were you monkey fingering last night?

takis fingers

When you finger a girl on her period and end up with red fingertips, similar to what it looks like after eating takis.

"You didn't tell me you were on your period and now I got takis fingers!"

scout finger

The finger that leads the way and makes sure you don't stick the wrong thing in the wrong hole, or just helps you find any hole.

I used my scout finger to find the hole next to my bed.

Scusi fingers!

excuse my fingers (when touching someone else's food.) ie when moving something onto their plate, passing it to them, or reaching into their food to take some. Can also be used when passing someone cutlery if you touch anywhere but the handle.

person one: hey does anyone want onion rings?
person two: yes please *holds out plate*
person one, using their fingers to grab hot onion rings off the tray and put them on person two's plate: scusi fingers! :)

finger misery

A condition that is also called paronychia which is caused by a bacterial infection around the fingernail symptoms include warmth, pus, and pain hence why it is called finger misery.

I hate finger misery and also pus! Blech!

assistive fingers

To use your fingers as a last result.

Linda: You said it was bigger

Man: 'Pulls out fingers'

Linda: 5min later* Grinning from cheek to cheek after the assistive fingers.

gimpy fingers

If someone has gimpy fingers it means the same as spastic fingers! Usually used when you type something wrong on twitter or Facebook!

Fuck sake that's not meant to say that I've got such gimpy fingers today