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A funny guy that likes to sing and listen to good music. Needs a girlfriend, who wants him?
"Look at Christian, he is craving the V!"
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WELL, HERE ARE 50 FUN THINGS FOR NON-CHRISTIANS TO DO IN CHURCH
1. Pull aside an unruly child in a preschool Sunday School class
and say: "If you're bad in here, you'll go to Hell."
2. A week beforehand, find a member of ACT-UP. Tell him the
scheduled sermon is entitled "Why God Sent AIDS to Punish
Homosexuals".
3. Put stray dogs in coat closets.
4. Un-tune the piano.
5. Replace the pianist's sheet music with "Stairway to Heaven".
6. Going through all the hymnals, mark song 666.
7. Find an empty seat, and ask the person next to it: "Is this
seat SAVED?"
8. Toss around a giant beach ball before service, like at
Grateful Dead concerts.
9. Ten minutes before it starts, find a kid in the front rows,
hand him a dollar, and tell him to ask the preacher: "Would
you rather be stoned or crucified?"
10. Hide copies of Hustler inside the pulpit. Point them out.
11. Start a wave.
12. Do cool things with the lighting.
13. When attendance is taken, sign on fake names like "Hugh G.
Rection" and "Oliver Klozoff".
14. Wear an ankh or a new-age crystal pendant.
15. When the choir sings, roll your eyes and grumble: "Oh,
Christ! Are they gonna do another SONG?"
16. Make up your own words to the songs.
17. Twenty minutes into the service, look at your watch, stand
up, and say: "Oh shit. This isn't the wedding!" Run out
quickly.
18. Eat dry Cap'n Crunch through the entire service.
19. If there is a crying baby, go over and tell the mother: "IF
YOU DON'T SHUT THAT GODDAMN THING UP SO HELP ME GOD I'LL KILL
IT!!!"
20. Dress all in black, or in camo.
21. Pierce the body of a tiny animal with stainless-steel wire.
Wear it in your ear as jewelry. If you are male, wear two.
Change sets for the evening service.
22. If it is an Easter service, wear a pastel jacket, tie, and
matching shorts. If you are male, wear a floral-print dress
instead.
23. At a church dinner, scoop up a forkful of mashed potatoes.
Announce that you can see an image of Jesus.
24. Place blocks of dry ice near the air ducts. Take off your
shoes and socks.
25. Hide near the baptismal pool with a block of sodium. At the
first mention of "fire and brimstone", throw it in.
26. Inflate balloons, then send them off.
27. Mark places in the Bible or hymnal with religious-themed Far
Side cartoons.
28. Turn in the Bible to the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20: 3-17).
Draw in asterisks and write exceptions at the bottom of the
page.
29. Make the sun reflect off your watch into the preacher's face.
30. Make calls to 900 numbers on the phone in the kitchen.
31. During the service, play with plastic dinosaurs. If someone
asks what you're doing, tell them: "These are dinosaurs. They
ruled the earth over 65 million years ago."
32. Discreetly position a number of bottle rockets on the floor.
Discreetly light them.
33. Snicker every time the preacher talks about someone being
stoned, especially Stephen.
34. Dip communion wafers in communion wine. Eat it and exaggerate
on how good it is.
35. When they pass around the collection plate, drop in a piece
of paper with Pat Robertson's MasterCard number.
36. Turn to your neighbor, whisper: "This do in remembrance of
me," and lick them.
37. Fart, and have a friend shout: "Hark! An angel has spoken!"
38. Blow bubbles.
39. Fake a possession.
40. Distribute condoms.
41. Speak in tongues.
42. Ask where the nearest ashtray is.
43. Drool in the collection plate.
44. Ask someone what they think about the Book of Peleponnesians.
After they tell you, inform them that there is no Book of
Peleponnesians.
45. After a Catholic service, stand outside and tell Polish
jokes. When someone points out that Pope John Paul II came
from Poland, act embarrassed.
46. Show unusual interest in any reference to the word
"Ministry".
47. At a church supper, bring a casserole with a ring or piece of
a wristwatch embedded inside.
48. Overnight, have the stained-glass windows replaced with new
ones depicting comical, erotic, or death-related imagery.
Send the bill to the pastor.
49. Write on the bathroom wall: "The eyes of the LORD are upon
you!!!"
50. Spread the word that there'll be a rave party at the address
of the church next Saturday at midnight.
- If you behave like a good Christian you will go to Heaven when you die.
- Well, I've been a slut all my life and I feel like Heaven every night.
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A person who has realized that they have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and has humbly turned from their sins(the definition of repentance), and has submitted their life to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and has trusted in Him(Jesus Christ) as Lord and Savior and obey Him! Notice, I say trust in Jesus Christ, the son of God alone! We don't trust in "mother" Mary, saints, a priest, the pope, the book of mormon, or anything like that.
A Christian is not someone who is merely religious, goes to church, prays prayers, reads bibles, was baptized, or any of that stuff. That stuff is good, but if there's no inward change that results in outward change and good fruit, they are not truly saved.
In addition, despite what many say, God's Grace is NOT a license or a covering for sin, and Christians are not unconditionally eternally secure. A Christian can lose their salvation by renouncing Jesus Christ, especially during times of persecution, by unrepentant willful sin, or by believing a false gospel, or by taking the Mark of the Beast during the 7 year Tribulation period when the Antichrist will be reigning and will require people to worship him and take a mark of loyalty indicating their loyalty to him(the Antichrist) in order to partake in commerce as well to avoid beheading. However, the Bible warns that if ANYONE takes the mark, regardless of the reason, they will spend eternity in the Lake of Fire. Taking 666 is an unforgivable sin. Revelation 14:9-11.
The twelve Apostles, the Apostle Paul, those who have died as martyrs for the faith, the future Tribulation Christians who endure to the end by refusing to take the 666 mark despite the pressures of social rejection, persecution, possible torture, starvation, and the death penalty.
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A males name
no one with this name has to believe in the christian religion, but it did orignate from the religion.
hey whats your name
MY NAMES CHRISTIAN
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A person Who believes that God, came down to earth in the flesh, died on a cross, and saved the sins of many. past,present, and future. It is a relationship. Yes some Christians do wear signs and yell at people saying that they are going to hell. but most Christians are not that. Sadly though, they are painted by the brush of those who do yell and scream at people. (this is to all you people who do yell and scream at other people. put down the bull horn, shut up, and actually love people the way Jesus does. Don't go yelling and freaking people out!)and we do not force people to convert, we merely ask (and yes, sadly some shout) if we ask you to come to church, its like asking if you wanna go see a movie. Christians love people, they don't all hate.
guy #1 " do you want to come to church? were giving away $500 this Sunday."
you "sure, I'm not doing anything Sunday, just watching tv all day"
Being a Christian is actually fun, not a list of rules
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1. noun - a member of a religion who believes that Jesus was the son of God and was placed on earth to save humanity from its sins. There are many doctrines besides this central tenet that are either rejected or accepted by any number of Christian sects, or denominations.
Most Christians believe in kindness to their fellow man, charity, a basic moral code (Ten Commandments), and reciprocity (Golden Rule). Also, many Christians believe in aggressively attempting to convert non-Christians to their thinking, since Christians believe that pagans will all go to hell when they die.
Unfortunately, Christians have a poor track record of sticking to their beliefs, and throughout history have used the religious estalishment of Christianity to perpetuate evil as well as good upon the world. Christians are often stereotyped as self-righteous, hypocritical, and willfully ignorant in addition to any positive traits instilled by their religion.
2. adjective - pertaining, related, part of, or similar to Christianity.
1. Atheist (me): I believe that there is no God, but you can believe whatever you want as far as I'm concerned.
Tolerant Christian: oh, cool. Personally, I'm planning on going to heaven to be with Jesus, my Savior and Lord.
Intolerant Christian: oh noes! A heretic! You're gonna burn in hell, Satanist!
2. The Catholic Church is a Christian institution.
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The saltiest motherfucker you will ever meet. Nobody likes Christian. He is known for his tiny cock constantly falling out. Puts everyone he dates through hell with his fucking Cayman island looking ass pimples on the side of his face. Nigga ass transgender that has a fucking orgasm everytime he wipes his ass and just cums in his pants everytime he hears the word men. But more than anything... Christian is a queer ass faguette doin gay ass things fucking faggot ass men in his sticky ass bed with his tiny ass dick dream in about massive ass cocks.
There are not gay enough words in existence to describe the queerness of Christian
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