Rural Dictionary

South Dakota

If you start your journey in western South Dakota, Rapid City is the
largest city in that part of our state.
It has one of our major airports and it is located along Interstate 90.
You'll find a wonderful variety of city parks, hiking and biking trails,
The Journey Museum, shopping, and events throughout the year. Rapid
City is the hub from which you can tour several attractions in western
South Dakota.
As you travel south out of Rapid City, one of the first major
attractions is Reptile Gardens on Highway
16. They have educational shows that include birds of prey, alligator
wrestling, and information on various snakes from around the world.
They also have birds and tortoises.
Nearby is Bear Country USA , a
drive-through wildlife park, which also includes other wild animals like
lions. They have a great visitor center that is at the end of the
park's drive-through route.
Continuing south, the next major attraction is our most famous
attraction - Mount Rushmore National Memorial on
Highway 244. There are park rangers who give guided tours; they have a
visitor center with park officials on duty; and there is a dining room
and gift shop at the Memorial. The museum has interactive exhibits, a
theater with films about carving the mountain, a walking trail, and a
patriotic evening lighting ceremony.
Not too far away is a mountain carving in progress that pays tribute to
many Native American tribes in North America. You can learn more about
this attraction at Crazy Horse Memorial.org which is off
Highway 386 and 16.
The Black Hills area is also home to Jewel Cave National Monument
which is south and west of Crazy Horse Memorial
and Wind Cave National Park which is south of
Custer State Park which is a
fun place to visit because of the wildlife, especially a heard of 1,500
bison. It covers 71,000 acres.
Also, in the southern Black Hills, you'll find The Mammoth Site in Hot
Springs, which is home to archeological and
paleontological finds. They also have guided tours of the one mammoth
in situ exhibit.
You can also find private businesses like the 1880 Train which offers
short rides on an old rail line between Hill City and Keystone.
For hiking and biking, you can enjoy the 109-mile George S. Mickelson
Trail that follows an old railroad line in the Black Hills, complete
with restored bridges and tunnels. It winds through scenic landscapes. There are trail heads and
bicycle rentals in several cities.
Custer State Park covers
71,000 acres and is home to bison, elk, Bighorn sheep, mountain goats,
antelope, deer, donkeys, and many bird species
If you decide to travel to the northern Black Hills on Highway 385, you
can visit the city of Deadwood where you will
find mining history and legends of the Wild West.
After your time in Deadwood, you can travel north and get back on
Interstate 90. If you go west on Interstate 90, you'll find the city of
Spearfish at Exit 12. It is home to the High Plains Western Heritage
Center. They have wonderful
displays on the ranching history of our state, including a gift shop
with books, jewelry, and art.
Get back on Interstate 90 and travel east to the city of Sturgis where
you'll find a museum devoted to motorcycles.
As you continue east on Interstate 90, you'll pass through Rapid City,
but continue for 55 miles to the city of Wall at Exit 110 to the famous
Wall Drug Store where you'll find wonderful
cake donuts and buffalo burgers, a great book store, and fun gifts to
purchase. In addition, they have one of the largest collections of
original western art in the United States showcased on their dining room
walls.
If you travel south of Wall on Highway 240, you'll find Badlands
National Park . The landscape here is moonlike
and the spires and buttes are layered in different colors of dirt - from
sulfur yellow to rust to gray. They have a visitor center with films
that tell the geological history of the park, which was once an
underwater sea. You can get back on the Interstate at Exit 131 after
you've traveled through the Badlands.
Next stop is the Pioneer Auto Show in
Murdo at Exit 192. The museum has over 275 cars plus several other
motorized exhibits and replicas of buildings that one would have found
in a pioneer town.
South Dakota is divided from north to south by the Missouri River, where
you can find tales about the Lewis and Clark Corps of Discovery. This
group of explorers mapped this part of the United States in 1804-1806.
The State Capitol is in Pierre, 33 miles north of
Interstate 90 at exit 212 along the Missouri River. The official state
website has the photo of our state's Governor Rounds.
From this page, click on Just For Kids and from there "Tour South
Dakota" for a virtual tour of the Capitol Building. The Cultural
Heritage Center has exhibits on the state on
early pioneers, Native American history, mining, riverboat travel,
politics, and art of many South Dakota artists. Not only is our history
influenced by the French, our state capitol has a mosaic floor that was
tiled by Italian artisans. There were 60 of them and each laid a small
blue-colored tile to commemorate their work. No one has ever found all
60 tiles.
If you travel south from Pierre and get back on Interstate 90, the next
major city is Chamberlain on the Missouri river. On the same campus as
the Saint Joseph Indian School is the Akta Lakota Museum.
They have exhibits of Native American life
as well as displays from many of South Dakota's Native American artists.
The next major city along Interstate 90 is Mitchell. They have a fun
attraction called the World's Only Corn Palace, originally built in the
early 1890s to showcase South Dakota's agricultural yields. You will
recognize the architecture of the building.
About 65 miles east of Mitchell is intersection of Interstate 29, which
runs north and south through South Dakota. You can turn north and
travel to Watertown to visit a small, but fascinating zoo - Bramble Park
and Zoo. They have several species of
local birds and animals plus wild animals from around the world. The
Goss Opera House in downtown Watertown is currently hosting a traveling
King Tut exhibit. During the first weekend in August, the Redlin Art
Center gives a free evening concert and the
entertainment in 2009 includes Sawyer Brown. The Redlin Art Center is
dedicated to one of America's favorite artists, Terry Redlin, where most
of Mr. Redlin's original art is displayed. The building design is Greek
with several gazebos and ponds on the property.
In northeastern South Dakota, you'll find more French explorer influence
at the Nicollet
Tower located near Sisseton, South Dakota. Joseph Nicollet came to
South Dakota and mapped this part of our state. Near Sisseton is Fort
Sisseton State Historical Park
with
restored living quarters, stables, hospital, and dining room for Civil
War soldiers. There are interpreters on site, but it is fun to walk the
grounds and climb the lookout tower. It is located on the highest bluff
in the middle of the prairie.
If you turn south onto Interstate 29 from Interstate 90, you'll find our
state's largest city of Sioux Falls. They
have many city parks and biking and hiking trails throughout the city.
In downtown Sioux Falls, is the restored Falls Park with a viewing
tower, walking trails, and an artists' center. They have an Outdoor
Learning Center and the Sertoma Butterfly House. Sioux Falls has a
historic district and downtown Sioux Falls has small unique shops,
restaurants, and old churches.
Off of the Interstate and in east of Pierre on Highway 14, you'll find
the small town of Huron. If you're in South Dakota during June, you can
attend an Outdoor Expo, June 13-14. There
are over 100 activities that are all hands-on including kayaking,
shotgun shooting, panning for gold, fly fishing, cooking over campfires,
trapping, hunting dog demonstrations, and archery. All free.
There are private art galleries filled with work of local artists, which
includes many works of art by Native Americans across the state.
There are many more towns and cities that have unique museums and
historic sites

Have a safe trip along South Dakota scenic trails!

by alvit April 29, 2009

87👍 84👎

bulletin

Here are some good examples of classic church bulletin bloopers:

1) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

2) The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

3) The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

4) Evening massage - 6 p.m.

5) The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

6) The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

7) Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30p.m. Please use the back door.

8) Ushers will eat latecomers.

9) The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

10) For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

11) The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

12) The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

13) During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

14) Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

15) Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

16) Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"

17) The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.

18) Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

19) The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

20) The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

21) 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.

22) A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

23) Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.

24) Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?" Preacher: The Rev. Horace Blodgett Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding"

25) On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD Dr.Hargreaves is better.

26) Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.

27) Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.

28) The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

29) Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

30) 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

31) The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

32) Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.

33) Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

An office bulletin: If you have nothing to do please don't do it here.

by alvit May 22, 2009

10👍 7👎

English

The United States is a nation of immigrants, with residents that speak a number of different languages and have ties to a number of different cultures. Presently, the United States does not have an official language, although according to the 2000 U.S. Census, 92 percent of the U.S. population over the age of 5 speaks English.

Legislation making English the official language would have serious unintended repercussions. For example, it would eliminate bilingual education services, prohibit the use of a translator in court, ban the use of another language by employees of the federal government, and bar the printing of any government documents in other languages. Paradoxically, making English the official language would probably result in less people speaking English because non-English speakers would no longer receive information on English classes. Such a policy would also pose a public safety issue by prohibiting a federal law enforcement agent from using a language other than English to gather information about a crime and question potential suspects or victims.

While I do believe all people residing in this country should learn English, making it the "official language" is not the way to go. That is why I would vote to make English the national and unifying language of the United States. Making English the "national and unifying" language rather than the "official" language avoids the unintended consequences discussed above. Instead of focusing our energies on making English the official language of the United States, we should do everything possible to ensure that our new citizens and residents have the opportunity to achieve English proficiency so they are able to fully participate in our society.

This world without English would be like a car without a motor.

by alvit June 26, 2009

34👍 21👎

quickie

Here are some good examples of miscellaneous quickies:

Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: "The Gates of Heaven." Below that was a small cardboard sign which read: "Please use other entrance."

Rev. Warren J. Keating, Pastor of the First Presbyterian Church of Yuma, AZ, says that the best prayer he ever heard was: "Lord, please make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am."

A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. "What Denomination?" Asked the clerk. "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic ones."

On a very cold, snowy Sunday in February, only the pastor and one farmer arrived at the village church. The pastor said, "Well, I guess we won't have a service today." The farmer replied: "Heck, if even only one cow shows up at feeding time, I feed it."

During a children's sermon, Rev. Larry Eisenberg asked the children what "Amen" means. A little boy raised his hand and said: "It means 'Tha-tha-tha-that's all folks!' "

A student was asked to list the 10 Commandments in any order. His answer? "3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7."

I was at the beach with my children when my four-year-old son ran up to me, grabbed my hand, and led me to the shore, where a sea gull lay dead in the sand. "Mommy, what happened to him?" the little boy asked. "He died and went to Heaven," I replied. My son thought a moment and then said, "And God threw him back down?"

Bill Keane, creator of the Family Circus cartoon strip tells of a time when he was penciling one of his cartoons and his son Jeffy said, "Daddy, how do you know what to draw?" I said, "God tells me." Jeffy said, "Then why do you keep erasing parts of it?"

After the church service, a little boy told the pastor: "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."

My wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to our six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" I wouldn't know what to say," she replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," my wife said. Our daughter bowed her head and said: "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

A quickie is not what you say but what you do.

by alvit May 22, 2009

16👍 55👎

stupid

Here are some ways of calling someone 'stupid':
A Few Clowns Short of a Circus
A Few Fries Short of a Happy Meal
An Experiment in Artificial Stupidity
A Few Beers Short of a Six-Pack
Dumber Than a Box of Hair
A Few Peas Short of a Casserole
Doesn't Have All Her Cornflakes in One Box
The Wheel's Spinning, But the Hamsters Dead
One Fruit Loop Shy of a Full Bowl
One Taco Short of a Combination Plate
A Few Feathers Short of a Whole Duck
All Foam, No Beer
The Cheese Slid Off Her Cracker
Body by Fisher, Brains by Mattel
Couldn't Pour Water Out of a Boot With Instructions on the Heel
He Fell Out of the Stupid Tree and Hit Every Branch on the Way Down
An Intellect Rivaled Only by Garden Tools
As Smart as Bait
Chimney's Clogged
Doesn't Have All His Dogs on One Leash
Doesn't Know Much but Leads the League in Nostril Hair
Elevator Doesn't Go All the Way to the Top Floor
Forgot to Pay Her Brain Bill
Her Sewing Machine's Out of Thread
His Antenna Doesn't Pick Up All the Channels
His Belt Doesn't Go Through All the Loops
If She Had Another Brain, It Would be Lonely
Missing a Few Buttons on His Remote Control
No Grain in the Silo
Proof That Evolution Can Go in Reverse
Receiver is off the Hook
Several Nuts Short of a Full Pouch
Skylight Leaks a Little
Slinky's Kinked
Surfing in Nebraska
Too Much Yardage Between the Goal Posts
Not the Sharpest Knife in the Drawer
The Lights are on, but Nobody's Home
24 Cents Short of a Quarter

Stupid people learn from their own mistakes by repeating them

by alvit October 27, 2009

749👍 229👎

South Dakota

bulletin

English

emergency flasher

quickie

stupid

penis