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1.) What you do when your girlfriend is not at home.
2.) The reason why people buy playboys.
3.) The reason why old people are having more heart attacks.
4.) The reason why birth-rate decreased by 60% in the last 20 years.
5.) What 30% of the world population is doing now.
The old man had several heart attacks due to his recent masturbations. He had too much excitement
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Manual stimulation of the penis of vagina to produce a stimulation simular to actual penetration by a member of the opposite sex.
It's something most of us have been caught doing, never admit to doing, and know full well that everyone else does.
Woody Allen: "Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone that I love."
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the act of physically pleasuring one's genitals with the desired result of achieving climax, a physical and mental state of pleasure and euphoria which is usually accompanied, though not by necessity, by an ejaculation and/or satisfaction or by a diminishing of desire for further immediate sexual conduct, this feeling and/or the act of ejaculation are usually universally refrenced as cumming (to cum) or ograsming (to orgasm, to have an orgasm).
I enjoyed a sesh of masturbation for three hours yesterday, but because I didnt cum I climaxed five times!
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To sexually exite yourself until you reach a climax. With males it involves using their hand to 'jack off', that is holding their dicks and moving their hand back and forth. Females usually use their fingers to rub around and enter the vaginal area.
"His girlfriend was miles away and he was very loyal so whenever he got horny he masturbated to satiate his thirst for sexual activity"
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to increase the surface temperature of your ship's main cannon with rapid linear motion
I masturbated and sunk your battleship
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To rub your penis until reaching the climax of sexual exitement, in which you ejaculate.
"Man, masturbation is the meaning of life"
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Here's more: Again, to grease the rod, to squash the bug, to shake hands with your penis, to squeeze the eclair, to fuck oneself, to awaken the slumbering giant, to flick the dick, to practice ju-dick-su, to train oneself in kung-penis, to play one's oboe, to rob the sperm bank, as well as take out a loan from one's sperm bank, to make your elephant laugh so hard that he squirts milk through his trunk, to shoot the shit, to cockadoodledoo, to make your worm sneeze, to visit the fountain of youth, to take a trip to Mexico with only one pair of underwear, to spray the butter, to spray the Cool-Whip, to get your "smack" on, to pump the hydrant, to evacuate one's testicles, to question the Mauve Avenger, to do the math, to calculate pi, to pleasure oneself manually, to practice stick-shift, to open the stairway to heaven, to save the whale, to squirt the mayonnaise, to attempt to reach orgasm in solitude (although not always), to climb/hike up pleasure mountain,to slap the Puerto Rican, to pour the salad dressing, to give an angel its wing, to kill a mockingbird. And there are still more to come (pun intended)!
Ah, masturbation....
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