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When you’ve ran out of sick days or personal days at work and you need a valid excuse to convince your boss to stay home.
*tim calls into work*
“I can’t come into work today, I’ve been having symptoms of COVID-19.”
*hangs up phone.*
Tim’s Boss: Yep I just got Coronavirus Pandemiced by that lazy fool Tim. He doesn’t like fulfilling his daily responsibilities.
During a pandemic, one must dip their penis into hand sanitizer in between pumps so as to not spread any contagions.
“Yo, Pat, did you hit that? ... Yeah, I’ll give her some pandemic pumps, by dipping young patty wein into hand sanitizer every stroke”
Illness occurs from excessively listening to the news during the pandemic. Absorbing and regurgitating every conspiracy theory known to man for the remainder of your life: EG The scamdemic came from a bat flying over us leaving chemtrails. It was part of the communist takeover, to install 5 G so they can mind control us.
Pandemic Conspirititis: A rare illness requiring 5 vaccines 19 boosters. If you watch the news 24/7 you will contract Pandemic Conspirititis
Condition based on a pandemic that is placed on future plans. The condition is outside anyone's control. Similar to weather permitting
I will see you at the concert next month, pandemically permitting
how can this happen well let me explain and don't get mad brace your self. let's see you watch a lot of good tv shows and you hate the off time in between seasons and years and you decide to wait until it's all done so you can watch it all back to back in a day or so . right? let's say everyone start doing that because they love you for it and all these good shows get cancel because they don't have good ratings or whatever keeps it going because you waiting for all the shows to get done even so you can fast forward all the commercials or buy the dvd or blue ray collection or etc.
The Good Pandemic....but the world only knows what a epidemic is right? what if we had a horrible pandemic it's over for everyone. The good thing about a the Good Pandemic is that it wouldn't happen if you was all alone but you had to be a true hero didn't you Son? yes FATHER GOD i said...i am sorry will i understand when i grow up one day my FATHER GOD as i kneel respectfully before my LORD AND KING AND SAVIOR the only of his Kind who is ABSOLUTE PERFECT AND ABSOLUTEY PERFECTLY VIRTUOUS! AMEN!
The depression that sets in after the "pandemic" is over and there are a million assholes everywhere again.
God, I miss the "pandemic". I have post-pandemic depression. I don't know if I can go back to a world filled with assholes everywhere. Make it stop!
A sort of panic attack.A sickness when you feel like the place you stay in,because of the pandemic,is coming to you.Making you feel like you have no place to move.Or when you feel like over-thinking is the thinking you over-think at one point.
Patient:Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe,doc.The walls are coming at me.This quarantine has massed me up.
Doctor:You're having pandemic attacks.Comepletely expected in a time like 2020.