Random
Source Code
Random
When you skull fuck a girl, cum in a bottle of mustard, shake it up, fill her mouth up with the mustard and skull fuck her again.
Bitch said she wanted a sandwich so I gave her a cockmeat mustard gargle.
A self-absorbed, super-egotistical woman, generally in her late 20s or early 30s, who creates an online dating profile with a profoundly opinionated view of herself and her requirements. Typical indicators of whether one is a cum gargling vaginasaur are the listing of one's favorite pseudo-intellectual novels with titles so artsy as to be vomit inducing, as well as the stating of one's personality type according to the 'what in the world of fucks is that' Myer-Briggs Type Indicator system. The true sexual orientation of a cum gargling vaginasaur is never known, as she prefers to invent her own orientation, unique to herself, which did not previously exist. As with a gecko that sheds its tail when threatened, a cum gargling vaginasaur similarly sheds her integrity when faced with the prospect of sucking on a black 12 incher in a process commonly referred to as 'hypocrisy'.
Why is it that I only ever get matched with cum gargling vaginasaurs when perusing these dating sites?!
1👍 1👎
An alcoholic drink described in Douglas Adams's book, The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.
It says that the effect of drinking a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick.
The Guide also tells you on which planets the best Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters are mixed, how much you can expect to pay for one and what voluntary organizations exist to help you rehabilitate afterwards.
The Guide even tells you how you can mix one yourself.
Take the juice from one bottle of the Ol' Janx Spirit, it says.
Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V - Oh, that Santraginean sea water, it says. Oh those Santraginean fish!!!
Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost).
Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.
Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle sweet and mystic.
Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Sun deep into the heart of the drink.
Sprinkle Zamphour.
Add an olive.
Drink ... but ... very carefully ...
(The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy sells rather better than the Encyclopedia Galactica.)
--Douglas Adams
"Never drink more than two Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters unless you are a thirty-ton mega elephant with bronchial pneumonia."
91👍 8👎
A potent mixed drink created by Zaphod Beeblebrox. It's the alcoholic equivalent of a mugging -- expensive and bad for the head.
Here's what the Encyclopedia Galactica has to say about alcohol. It says that alcohol is a colorless volatile liquid formed by the formentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.
It says that the effect of drinking the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like have your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.
46👍 4👎
A potent drink invented by Zaphod Beeblebrox. The effects have been likened to having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.
There are many voluntary organizations which will help to rehabilitate you after you've had one.
The Guide has instructions for mixing a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster yourself:
1. Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit.
2. Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V.
3. Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost).
4. Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.
5. Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle sweet and mystic.
6. Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.
7. Sprinkle Zamphuor.
8. Add an olive.
9. Drink ... but ... very carefully ...
Trillian "I Think You've Had One Pan Galactic Gargle-Blaster Too Many"
Zaphod "I'm Not Sure Thats Physically Possible"
40👍 6👎
The best drink in existance.
Take the juice form one bottle of Ol' Janx Spirit.
Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V.
Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost).
Allow four liters of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.
Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady oders of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle, sweet, and mystic.
Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the algolian suns deep into the heart of the drink.
Sprinkle zamphour.
Add an olive.
Drink... but... very carefully.
Zaphod Beeblebrox invented the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster
206👍 58👎
When calling them a cunt just doesn't quite cut it.
That bitch is cock gargling thunder cunt!
37👍 8👎