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1. The tiny gnomes found in a garden that are following me in the night and trying to steal my sanity.
2. The tiny garden statuettes that secretly placed a chip in my brain.
3. Any girl that is shorter than 5 feet that resembles the statues known as garden gnomes.
BEWARE THE GARDEN GNOMES!!!
That's an ugly garden gnome!
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Male or female corporate employees who roam aimlessly to various other departments within their building looking for free coffee. Typical subjects are height disadvantaged. Non offending employees often carry gnome sticks or "gnomechucks" to ward off.
Look y'all, here come the coffee gnomes again. Good thing we only left them the Maxwell House!
The rarest of farts, this anomaly occurs when wearing jeans that are way too tight. Gas is released from the anus but has nowhere to escape, so it travels along the taint to the pocket created by your balls against your leg, then is released to either side of your package. It usually results in a bizarre tickling sensation and sounds like cat meowing backwards.
"What the fuck was that!?"
"What?"
"That noise that just came from your groinal region!?"
"Oh, that. I just dropped a roaming gnome. These pants are two sizes to small."
Sock gnomes are an ancient folk who hail from Germany. They sneak into people’s houses and steal their socks. Only the left ones though. The purpose of this is to wear them as hats. Its very necessary to their survival. Other common names for them are as follows; hat people, helmet folk, hut luete, and sockenzwerg. They refer to themselves as hat people because socks don’t exist to them. The big people are the crazy stupid giants. When the big peole come, the sock gnomes riot. Their weapon of choice is the pitchfork which they ise to stab people right in between the leg bone and the knee cap. This will bring their enemies to their knees, but not for long because of the excruciating pain. Then they fall on their faces and the sock gnomes tie them down with little pieces of string. The sock gnomes are also brilliant engineers. They actually invented the leg warmer, the back massager, cheez itz, tom holland, and the tenor saxaphone. In sock gnome legend, there is a messaih who will come wearing 100% wool socks on their head that are also waterproof. This person is destined to be ruler of all sock gnomes. Sock gnomes to this day hold a bitter grudge against the big people because of the rednpointy hatted stereotype they have created.
Sock gnomes commonly enjoy chartreuse colored hats.
The little people who run around forums spamming off topic day in and day out.
Oh god, Anitanium is a forum gnome.
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n. - a sexual act in which a person sits on the tip of the garden gnome's hat until they, or the gnome, achieves climax.
n. - in other circles, it is the sexual act of manual penis stimulation from a garden gnome
Brandi: Where is Jackson right now?
Mark: Last I saw, he left the viewing of the Great Gatsby and was caught in the garden getting a gnome job. I don't think he wants anymore quiche...
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