starter husband

a first husband, married in youth and divorced not long after, esp. relationships without children

I just married my starter husband at 18 to get away from my family.

64👍 33👎

Husband's Duty

A status where you MOST forget bout your social life or any fun activity to remember you are married, and that includes doing the shittiest duties a man can ever be asked to do...

-Jenny's gotta period and she needs some tampons...i'm now on husband's duty

23👍 10👎

husband stitch

After a female has a baby they stitch the busted vagina to how it was before she had a baby. The husband stitch is that extra stitch that makes the vagina tighter than before the female gave birth.

Hey doc, go ahead and add me a husband stitch in there.

124👍 75👎

husband chair

Otherwise known as "the Schmuck Chair". The husband or boyfriend just sits there in the only chair in the women's section looking like a schmuck, because there is nothing else to do.

Lilly would say "just wait for me while I try these clothes on... there, in the husband chair..you know, Schmuck chair".

82👍 51👎

Corpse Husband

An American Youtuber who is known for his scary stories, music, streaming Among Us. Also known for not showing his face and deep voice caused by "Gerd"

Have you heard Corpse Husbands' new song "Never Satisfied"?
I did! I think I really like it!

13👍 5👎

Deadbeat husband

A man who is married yet forgets he’s married whenever he is at work. He never calls his wife to let her know if he’s going to be late, leaving her to wonder when she may be “lucky” enough to have him home. His children stop asking when he will be home because they are so used to him being late. Then when his wife gets upset by it he sends his wife stupid photos of the cat because he’s emotionally retarded.

Wife - “Dinner is ready”
Deadbeat Husband -“Oh about that...”
“Here’s a cat photo, see you in an hour”

9👍 3👎

Dutch Husband

A long, usually rectangular shaped body pillow. Usually used by placing it alongside a person's body while sleeping, so that one leg can be draped over the length of it.

1. That lady likes the feeling of being cuddled so much, she sleeps with two Dutch Husbands.
2. When the old gal was in the rack with a leg ache, she slept with a Dutch Husband, to get rid of the pain before morning.

15👍 6👎