Random
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Random
a fake guy your parents made up to make you look forward to all year. ( just to see you smile )
me( 5 yrs old ): hi santa.
parent: im not santa
me: fuk u ( i shoot parent and take gifts )
parent: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
9👍 46👎
santa :knock knock
child victim :whos there
santa : santa
child : santa who
santa: im a rapist
they're already sleeping so half the job is done
12👍 67👎
Santa is an old man, and wears red and white. He has a thick, white beard because he forgot to shave it. He breaks into your house, delivering presents for good boys and girls. Whilst he breaks into your house, he steals the mince pies and your dad's beer, making him obese, before creeping up to the children's room to creep on them sleeping, and fills their stockings. He must be a stalker, due to the fact, he knows wear you live, your name, and whether you have been good or not. Santa has three hoes, unlike Tiger woods.
"Santa, please may I have a pony?" "Ho. Ho. Ho. Merry Christmas ____! You have been a good little girl haven't you? Let me help myself to some of your beer, thanks."
8👍 41👎
Gin-soaked pedophile
ex:
Matt was acting like such a santa the other day my 5 year old nephew started crying when he asked if he wanted to sit on his lap.
8👍 41👎
I am santa. I tell all the girls to sit on santa's lap and we'll talk about what ever pops up.
Dirty boy in a santa outfit trying to score.
10👍 55👎
None of you have any idea about what Santa Claus really is. He was a robot created in the 24th century to decide if people have been naughty or nice and distribute presents accordingly. His standards were set too high so now he goes on a rampage every Christmas killing innocent citizens. The only person he has ever seen as "nice" was Dr. Zoidberg. Once, Bender helped him on one of his rampages.
Your missletoe is no match for my T.O.W. missle!
12👍 69👎
that whore in the madonna song that i sing quite well in her voice.. i look like a slut when i sing it, too, so i REALLY got it down..
notice down below that she wants santa to come down her chimney. *cough* whore *cough*
i mean cmon, you have to be a whore to fuck santa. just think of all the dirty lil kids that sit on his lap in the mall and infect him with all their gross lil germs and slobber that they dont clean off their hands.
santa baby.. slip a sable under the tree, for me.. ive been an awful good girl, santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight
10👍 57👎