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A phrase used to express lack of understanding when everything should be perfectly clear.
A way of saying "I should understand this completely, but it makes no sense whatsoever."
Origin: In the 1980s ski comedy "Hot Dog: The Movie," the antagonist proposes a Chinese downhill to resolve all conflicts between himself (the hotshot skier) and the protagonist (not so talented skier/cool guy). After they outline what's at stake -the girl, rule over the slopes, cash, etc. -the comic-relief Chinese guy leans in and asks "Wha te fuck is a Chinese downhir?" (A Chinese downhill is a ski race with a shotgun start -first one to the bottom wins.)
Journalists talking about a story that's been assigned, but the second journalist missed the meeting:
J1 -"Good luck getting Pee Wee Herman to discuss his movie theater fetish. You better get on it; deadline is Friday."
J2 -"Pee Wee Herman about what? When did this happen? What the fuck is a Chinese downhill?"
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When one finally drops a quality hot and steamy log that hangs from ass to toilet water after extreme constipation and does not realize that it has not detached from the anal cavity, causing him/her to proceed with the wiping process, and violently "smash" through the log. It is called a "surprise" because the victim usually responds with "HOLY SHIT!" or "MY BUNG HOLE!" or "DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF!"
1. "I was walking past the bathroom while my brother was taking a shit and I heard the beginning poot but did not here the ending splash that usually follows. I realized what was happening and immediately yelled 'DICK, WAIT!....but it was too late..he had experienced his first Chinese Log Smash Surprise."
2. "After 3 weeks of being constipated I had taken my glory dump, not knowing that the magnificent log had not detached. As I went to wipe (from front to back) I had my 5th Chinese Log Smash Surprise this month!"
3. "After his Chinese Log Smash Surprise, Jim's hand never recovered..."
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When member of the preferred sex provides a hand job to the point of orgasm, and the male receiving the deed cums and farts simultaneously, this is known as a Chinese Hot Air Balloon
Dude, I had some panda express, and then hooked up with lo wang, she made me have a Chinese hot air balloon!
Step 1. Force lettuce tomatoes and croutons in to rectum of a Cock (male chicken)
Step 2. Forcefully shove the chicken starting at the head into the anal cavity of a small anorexic dog
Step 3. Orally fuck the left nasal cavity of the dog while simultaneously eating the salad out of the chicken’s ass
Yo you should come over to our house for dinner tonight, we’re having Chinese Egg-Salad Sandwich
misinterpretation of Iyaz's song "Replay"
Chinese Like A Metal D in my head, that i cant keep out, got me singing like na na na everyday
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A restaurant in the midwest, known for it's authentic asian ingredients and friendly customer service. Big Bowl Chinese Express has the best food in quick service!
I ate at Big Bowl Chinese Express last night and I absolutly MUST go back!
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