Rural Dictionary

Joseph Smith (v)

Joe Smith was a failed con-man who finally succeeded by fooling people into believing that he found some gold plates with a record of the ancient inhabitants of the Americas in the ground and "translated" them by sticking his head in his hat and having the words magically appear. When he was unable to sell his "book" he founded a religion the mormons, because much to his surprise, many people actually bought his crazy story. (Mormons are also known collectively as the morg)

Despite a life of crime and sexual liasons with the children (some as young as 14) and the wives of his followers, he succeeded in gathering several thousand followers and founded a city in Illinois where he, as mayor, was able to escape justice from all the crimes he had committed in Missouri and Ohio. But after his sexual liasons with teenagers and other mens wives exposed in a newly founded newspaper, he ordered it destroyed and committed treason against the U.S. by ordering his private militia in to action. While awaiting trial on the treason charges he ordered his militia to come and break him out of jail, but the messenger he sent refused to join him in his treasonous acts. He was killed in a gun battle with a vigilante mob, but mormons claim he managed to kill 2 of the vigilantes.

Because of Joseph Smith's penchant for abusing his power to fuck the teenage daughters of his followers, a married middle-aged man who uses a position of power to fuck a teenager is Joseph Smithing.

Did you hear Mr. Toolman, the girls basketball coach got caught Joseph Smithing one of the girls on the team?

by tanstaafl October 8, 2004

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