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When you lay her down on a crucifix, and nail her three times. On the third day, you'll be able to get a rise again.
Bob: "I heard Sara got Jesus Fucked last summer".
Tony: "Is that where you put her on a crucifix and nail her three times?"
Bob: "Yeah dude."
Tony: "Holy, holy, holy lord. God of power and might."
some dude commonly believed by the same kind of morons
jesus christ? actually doesn't exist!
1. A word used to express anger. Avoid saying this in front of Jesus Freaks, it will upset them.
2. Some guy stated in the Bible. He supposedly died on a cross and died for our sins. Now he's gonna save us all or something like that. Of course we all know this is absolutely retarded, after all, the only reference is a really big book.
1. Jesus Christ, why the hell is my wife doing another man in my bed??
2. All the Bible is, is a big book, ok?? Who wrote the book? God? Ok. Yeah. God wrote the Bible and then came down to earth and gave it to some guy so he could show it to everyone. YEAH RIGHT. You know what really happened? Some guy wrote all this bull so that he could make some money.
And how come even in the Bible, men have all the power? I though "Jesus" believed in equality for everyone!! Wtf?
Tell you what, when Jesus "Saves" you, I want you to come down here with him and show me. THEN I'll believe it. Thank you.
A would-be saviour who is incapable of fixing his own problems, but insists on saving you from yours. Salvation, in this case, involves crucifixion of the focus of Dwarf Jesus' attention, since Dwarf Jesus is too short to crucify himself.
Dwarf Jesus occasionally is correct, but this is a statistical anomaly, and should not be trusted.
Verily did Dwarf Jesus say then, "Father, Father! Why hath thou touchest mine naughty bits?"
Term used by Christian retailers to describe small plastic toys, pens, and pencils that have been imprinted with trite religious phrases to be handed out to children for memorizing Bible verses in Sunday School.
Falsely accusing someone of doing something wrong when in fact that person did nothing wrong. Similar to someone hating on Jesus for........ I don't know why someone would hate on Jesus. All he did was help people and "they" killed him. Ain't that a bitch!?!
Person 1: Hey, my car won't start! I let you use my car for one day and you broke it! What the fuck?
Person 2: Calm down bro! Your battery was old and needed to be replaced so I sent Parker to the store to get a new one for you. So basically you're hating on Jesus. Why you hatin' on Jesus bro? Why you hatin' on Jesus.
Kaleb, the living embodiment of black jesus.
Bro you know that new kid Kaleb?
Of course look at him, he is Black Jesus.