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People who claim to be christian, but are, in reality, attatched to an image of a man who, if he were alive today, would be committed to a mental hospital for claiming to be the son of God.
A group who would rather put tacky fish emblems on their car, instead of read the book that is supposedly their be all end all.
People who claim to know more about the world because of their relationship with someone they know nothing about.
People obsessed with an image of piety, rather than actually being pious.
Christians are ok, it's the Jesus People that ruin things.
The stupid Jesus People gave me another damn pamphlet.
I don't care if the Jesus People think I'm going to hell, they're all idiots.
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1. A biblical figure from Morgan City who was robbed of the copyrights to the hit singles of his band, "Jimmy Condomhead and the Rubberband peanut Stand" by his rival,Jesus Christ. Jesus Chriss played his golden chart topping hits for Robert Gertrud, who in turn went behind his back and pitched the songs to Geffin Records. David Geffin signed Robert Gertrud to a 5 million dollar contract and suggested he use the stage name Jesus Christ. As legend has it, Jesus Chriss became so angry that he ripped out his own spinal cord and fatally stabbed Jesus Christ repeatedly in the lower abdomen in a back alley way in the coal shute yelling, "Don't mess with Morgan City Trash"! He also liked to wear old man pants from thrift stores.
2.Someone who remains broke and bitter in a sticky robe that smells like dog shit (and piss!) because someone keeps stealing his chart topping hits and selling them to Geffin Records...and he just can't figure out who the fuck keeps doing it.
3.Someone who likes to wear old man pants
4.Someone with cronic back problems who is contantly treated unfairly by hospital personnel because they are jealous of their song writing abilities.
1."Hey, is this Brian?" "I stole your tascam recorder and I'm gonna make millions off of your music you piece of shit!" "You're a real Jesus Chriss you know that, you fuck?"
2."Don't be pullin a Jesus Chriss on me tonight...this is a funeral we're going to." "Put on some nice slacks."
3."Nurse Becky, tell that Jesus Chriss we won't treat him." "But Doctor, his stats are dropping!" "Let them drop!" "No one is going to stop me from winning first place at the Tucson Tapdancing Saxiphone and Bongo festival...AND I MEAN NO ONE!!!"
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another word for the Holy Trinity(the father,son,and holy spirit) when reffering to Roman Catholic belif.
Jimmy: What's your stand on Christianity?
Paul: I believe in the Jesus Triphecta shit, but I think the rest is pure bullshit.
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Opposite of "east bumfuck", meaning right here
"Yo, I parked way the hell over in east bumfuck! Where you at?"
"Right here in West Jesus."
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The best sniper who has ever graced the world of first person shooter.
Danny: Wow Ingoe95 is a total Jesus Sniper
Ingoe95: Hell yeah!
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One of the greatest pranks of this Common Era, begotten by our Savior himself.
In the Gospel of Thomas, Jesus asks his disciples, "Who am I?" Christ receives three answers:
1.) Peter: "You are a righteous messenger"
2.) Matthew: "You are a wise philosopher"
3.) Thomas: "My mouth is wholly incapable of saying whom you are like"
Upon these answers, Jesus pulls Thomas aside and reveals three secret sayings to him. Thomas returns to the other disciples, and they eagerly ask what Jesus had said. Thomas tells them, "If I tell you even one of the things which he told me, you will pick up stones and throw them at me; and a fire will come out of the stones and burn you up."
The three secret sayings were never revealed from Thomas, and died out with him. What's the prank? When Jesus pulled Thomas aside, what he actually said was something along the lines of:
"Yo, Thomas, I've got this brilliant fucking idea. I'm going to whisper in your ear some nonsense, and you just nod. When you get back to the other 'sciples over there, they're going to ask you what I said. Just tell them I told you three secret sayings and that you can't ever tell them what they are. It'll drive them and the future religious world ridonkeykong!"
John 8:12
"When Jesus spoke again to the people he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, unless, of course, that person falls for another one of my infallible Jesus pranks!"
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A term used to describe the divinity of Joe Mauer, the greatest baseball player, Minnesota Twin, and Minnesotan to ever grace this land.
Baby Jesus is really good at baseball, he bats .900.
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