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A sexual act where an attractive middle aged man who often enjoys cycling steals the dog bed and television from his son’s house and uses it to lure the dog back to his local gym. He then proceeds to dress up in tight pink Lycra and perform a handstand by the exercise bikes with butter rubbed along his huge dick so that the dog sucks him off while watching other hot men cycling on his stolen TV. This is usually accompanied by extremely loud screams from the man to attract as much attention to himself as possible as well as gleeful noises from the sucking dog when it’s fur is splattered with tasty white cum.
“What’s that screaming? Is there a dog in here?”
“Don’t worry, it’s just someone doing a Dirty Jacob’s Dad in the corner.”
He just is.
So, you think you like Jacob, name every cute quality of his-
1. Kind
2. Just all around cute
3. Very epic gamer
4. Always willing to help
5. Young wise man
6. Has good music taste
7. Has some sick hobbies
8. Open-minded
9. Just adorable :3
10. Humerous
11. Trys to make others happy even when he's not at his best
12. Extremely trust worthy
13. Honest
14. He cares :P
15. Loyal
16. Relaxing to talk to
17. Can make others happy by being happy himself
18. Has a cute voice -w-
19. Easy to talk to
20. Can be shy but once you get to know him, hes very open
21. Trustworthy
22. Mature (most the time lmao)
23. Will always find a way to make you feel better when you're sad
24. He puts his friends in front of himself
25. Unauthorized therapist lol
26. Logical
27. Trys his best at everything
28. Wants to help (almost) everyone
29. Will always check up on you
30. Every message he sends is cuter than the last
31. Sticks up for what he believes in
32. Helpful
33. Active and fit
34. Not afraid to speak his mind
35. Doesn't care what others think about him
36. He always sends cute msgs
37. He always sends cute pictures
38. Protective
39. Extremely nice
40. Fun to vibe with
41. Has big brain
42. Really chill
43. Will always put a smile on your face
44. Charming
45. Would stay up all night just to say good morning to you
46. Jacob is biggest qt
I would write more but I've reached the word limit of 1500
4👍 1👎
He is a great person. He is friends with everyone he meets and he is sexy fun cool nice fun
girl 1: Do you think he will like me
Girl 2: im not sure
Jacob: hello ladies lol
both girls: jhcbzdghbhczshfgbdsygvduhzvbzchnbydghb yudhjhds
1👍 44👎
everyone knows a jacob and everyone knows that they are gordo and feo. they are literally the most annoying people on the planet and make you lose your marbles. eliminate any jacobs
“Ah shiii it’s jacob someone call a priest”
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Men are always right, Women are always wrong.
Exeption: When (most) men agree with the woman, in which case the woman is right.
Otherwise a paradox would be created in which neither man or woman are right.
Felice says Thomas is yellow, Thomas says he's not. Male friends agree with Felice
According to Jacob's Third Law Felice and her male friends are right. Thomas is yellow.
18👍 7👎
A Jacob is usually a fuckboy. Is a loyal and great friend...to guys. A Jacob has no way of behaving around girls, and tends to act inappropriately. He will go through girl after girl, after girl. He only stays with a girl no longer than a few weeks though, and he DOES NOT do serious relationships. Jacobs tend to be devilishly handsome, but watch out; thats exactly what lures a girl in. A Jacob will usually have terrible self esteem, and the moment their fragile ego is bruised they will lash out. They spread rumors and gossip like a wildfire, so never tell a Jacob a secret. A Jacob can have a heart of gold, but their need to always be cool tends to ruin that. They'll do anything to be accepted, to feel cool and adored, but they have a lack of work ethic. Jacobs tend to be more social, and will forgo studying or working hard to just talk to people. A Jacob can have a lot of amazing potential but will waste it for the sake of being cool, getting another girl, or just pure laziness.
Girl 1: I can't believe he cheated on me!
Girl 2: well yeah, he's a Jacob.
Boy 1: He doesn't do any of the work, but they still are giving him an A!
boy 2: Well of course he doesn't work, he's a jacob.
1👍 45👎