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A relationship that begins around Christmas and New Year (often started with a drunken hookup at a party) and that dies around Easter. A Jesus Relationship is often between two people who are incompatible, and survives for a few months due to the heightened joy around the holiday season, but dies as the year progresses.
Dan: Me and Mary weren't compatible, we were doomed to a Jesus Relationship.
Fin: Was she super religious or something?
Dan: No, it was just destined to die within a few months.
A situation in which you out run a ridiculous amount enemies without dying.
Mainly used in video games.
I don't even know how i got a way. Seriously, that was the most intense jesus run I've ever done.
The supernatural power that heals airline passengers of their aliments in flight, and is exemplified by the phenomena of more passengers needing wheelchairs when a flight boards then need them on arrival. Most often seen on flights to/from Florida.
Flight attendant 1: we had 20 passengers in wheelchairs when we boarded my flight in Chicago, but when we got to Miami all but 4 walked off.
Flight Attendant 2: Wow! Another miraculous healing by Jetbridge Jesus!
Flight Attendant 1: Amen and Praise be!
a drink that mixes water with wine,
hence turning water into wine.
"Jesus turns wine into water, and kills you for his sins."-Reverse Jesus
A: Why do you add water into wine
B: Because it tastes terrible, maan.
A: Oh a reversed Jesus, then.
B: Yeah, whatever.
C: Gimme a reversed Jesus.
D: A what? Ah that terrible wine with water then.
C: Yeah.
To fix a problem that has been stumping someone else in an incredibly simplistic way on your first try, often by hitting or touching the object in question. The method used to fix the device may have already been tried multiple times, but just didn't work until you came along. This is reminiscent of how Jesus Christ supposedly healed the sick just by touching them.
My car horn was broken for months, but Tanner Jesus-fixed it on the first time he pushed it.
My friend's phone wasn't working for hours yesterday, but I came in and Jesus-fixed it when I turned it off and on even though she had already tried that five times.
A lover of Jesus Christ. Someone who is very excited and happy about the topics of Jesus.
John is the biggest Jesus enthusiast that I have ever met!
"hook and loop" straps (note: the originals are known as "velcro")
these straps contain and manage cords, cables, ropes...e.t.c. , keeping them from catching on anything and everything,
or transforming themselves into a tangled mass! (or wrapping themselves around "the baby's" NECK !!)
the natural law is: when carrying ANYTHING (like a tv) the dangling cord will catch itself solidly on something, where one has to 'break stride' to get it free. this would NEVER happen in 5,000 tries at throwing the cord at the offending catch point! it ONLY catches when carrying something unsecured!
be right with you! , godda find a way to contain this cord! (response:) try this Jesus strap !
when setting up the PA, the previously attached Jesus straps saved my black ass !
what kind of idiot doesn't secure a cord ?? -Jesus straps your savior, infant!