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This is just a bad-ass way of saying "no comment", meaning you are neither confirming nor denying anything.
Journalist: Mr. Vernon, what is your stance on the issues being debated?
Mr. Vernon: I reserve my judgment.
Another Journalist: So Mr. Vernon, there's absolutely nothing you can tell us?
Mr. Vernon: No, I'm sorry.
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Noun
Synonyms: Fear, Frustration, Work Overload, Revenge of the Nerds
Antonymns: Fun, Relax, Enjoy, Hot Chicks
Case Western Reserve University is the most frustrating learning environment in the world. From students to the administration to the city of Cleveland, everything is a mess.
First, lets start with the students. Socially, Case students model themselves after the South African apartheid system. The nerds band together from day one and form their own environment of anime, DDR, study parties, computer programming, and lord knows what else. Then, there are the normal people. Once in a while, a few of them will become friends and have fun at Case by not paying attention to what is going on around them. Everyone is always ugly and pissed off about classes or the weather. Nothing done by the administration ever solves any problems because both groups want everything different. For example, normal people may want a new gym while the nerds want a new computer lounge equipped with megaplex59625 video cards and 92 ultrabytes of RAM, so the administration responds by erecting a giant obelisk in the center of campus.
You might laugh at that, but that is seriously what the administration does. When confronted with a problem, they come up with eleborate and costly solutions that don't work anyway. For example, students didn't like the cafeteria food, so the administration spent $500,000 on a new diner. However, it used the same food made in the cafeteria, only you got to pay for it this time. I once complained about the milk dispensers not working right. The week after, they painted them black and white like cows. We are living in dorms older than Jesus, so they are building new ones. But, they are going to charge us over $2000 more per year than what we pay now which is already insane. The campus bus service has problems running on time, so they are in the process of inventing an elaborate GPS tracking system so students know where the buses are. I truly will enjoy watching the new GPS system when it shows the drivers abandoning their routes for cigarette breaks, which is the whole problem in the first place.
Oh yeah, the professors all make sure to out-do the administration. A lot of them operate on the basis of "it was tough for me so I'm going to make it tougher for you". They want Case to be the same as Stanford and M.I.T. academically, so they all teach their graduate material to undergraduates and make life hell.
Cleveland is also the worst place on earth. The weather sucks. People from the ghetto mug students all the time. The city doesn't have a budget to fix roads, so the main bridge on campus fell down. Traffic is now a nightmare, and there is a hospital right in the middle of things. I saw an ambulance stuck in a long line of traffic the other day - I wish I had a picture of it.
To sum things up, DO NOT COME HERE.
Other amusing things that happen here:
-condoms are the last things that the vending machines run out of
-we currently have our home football and baseball games at a local high school since we have no fields
-most of the porn downloaded occurs on Friday and Saturday nights
-it takes a half hour to walk across campus at a fast pace
-I saw a Case commercial on MTV while watching Viva la Bam...can we say "media whore"?
-I'm so pissed I don't even want to go on...
This is part of a real email from professor to his class:
"Dear class,
Hmm. Let me re-word that ...
Class:
The mid-term exam was an unmitigated disaster. It appears that not one
student got a single problem correct. In spite of my severe disappointment,
I'll have to assume this was my fault. (Of course, this won't keep me from
flogging you when you return!)."
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When a group disinvites your ass, grass and or cash for outrageous behavior, usually long past due.
Donald Trump was so boring at Studio 54 he should have been off the reservation.
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Branded the most expensive cigar on the market, His Majesty's Reserve, made by Gurkha, is the most premium cigar one can buy. The price for one of these is $750 per cigar or $14,999.95 for a box of twenty, though I have been told from many sources that you can only buy a limit of 3 per order because Gurkha only makes 100 boxes per year.
Cigar Aficionado #1: Hey man what are you smokin?
Cigar Aficionado #2: A Gurkha- His Majesty's Reserve.
Cigar Aficionado #1: Damn! That most have cost a lot!
Cigar Aficionado #2: You bet your ass it did! Worth every penny!
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True... some of the stuff said is very true... there aren't that many good looking girls and the ones that are "good looking" or considerd as such know it and take alot of advantage of it. HOWEVER, guys here at Case have no game. They complain about the "few girls that are good-looking" being stuck up and ignorant but they do not realize that those girls just act like that towards them and not towards all guys. I know guys here that get more (quality) ass than toilet seats and have a great time at this school. True I am writing this in a break between studying for 3 midterms but that doesn't mean that I will not have fun once those are done. We still party every weekend, we still go on spring break, we still get laid, and we make tons of money after school. If you choose to stay in, however, and look at porn on a friday night, or post these definitions complaining about how much this school sucks, instead of going out and having fun, then it is not going to change. This school has a motto: Create your own fun. If you know how to create fun then you will have an awesome time. If you know how to befriend yourself with people that can create fun then you will also have an awesome time. If you are lazy or boring, you will have a terrible time. It is just that simple. One bad thing about this school is the rumors that go around. That is one thing that still resembles high school, but i guess that makes sense since people that are "cool" at this school were not "cool" in high school, so they are still getting used to it.
Things that people did at this school:
2 chics at the same time, 3-some, 4-some, 4 girls making out, girls flashing for alcohol, 2 girls in the same night, more than ace level in a sorority, yay off a girl's ass, sex in the bathroom during a fraternity formal, sex on the bus ride home from formal... many more
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I transfered out of Case. I was one of the lucky ones. As such, I figure I have the duty, no, the moral obligation, to help define the school as I see it. There's a few brilliant observations so far - and one clearly written with Case's advertising budget; I have to rebuke it.
I came to Case thinking I was going to college - I wasn't. The problem was, I must have watched television and movies as a kid. See, my vision of college was one filled with kegs, beer bongs, LSD, student protests, wild sex, marijuana, tequila, attractive women, INSANE parties, and that sort of stuff.
Do you know what Case actually had, of the above list? Marijuana, consumed in major quantities, specifically to dull the senses of the fact that all the above items are lacking.
Oh, there's tequila - check out Mi Pueblo. That place is the BOMB. In fact, as a student, you'll probably have a few good non-memories of walking to your dorm from there after it closes.
It's true, the women aren't great. But in conjunction, I have a new word to define: Case Goggles. When you arrive as a freshman, man, your expectations are high. You think it's going to be like the movies. Every day, every week, that your at Case, the goggles start to kick in. Your standards lower in some exponential equation (ask the case nerds to graph this, they can), and pretty soon, you get drunk and have sex or make out with a girl you DEFINETLY shouldn't have. You wake up, and your friends make fun of you. The funny irony is that you get to laugh at THEM in three weeks when they get the Case Goggles.
It's hard finding drinking buddies on Monday, Teusday, Thursday, and Sunday nights, but once you find some good ones, your set. The big drinking nights are Spot night on Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays. The trouble is, there aren't parties half the time, and when there are, they're pretty lame. No kegs or hard stuff allowed. Wow, case sucks, huh? It get's worse.
Actually, I'm not even going to proceed - but it's bad. A year here, and you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. Case syndrome.
Case Western Reserve University leads the country in Drunk IM's sent per student.
Playboy ranked Case Western Reserve University second worst party school in the country behind the Naval Academy.
I'd rather put my dick in a meat grinder than sit through three hours of recitations at Case.
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This definition is made in utmost seriousness:
Case Western Reserve University is hell on earth, quite simply. As 2004 Graduate said, "...if you don't want an academically challenging school, then you shouldn't go to Case." This is the worst excuse for the sheer boredom you will experience at Case; I have plenty of friends who go to "academically challenging schools" (Northwestern, NYU, etc.) who love their schools, as you can actually go out and have fun. It is not this way at Case.
First of all, you are lucky to find a party on the weekend, it just doesn't happen. Almost all of the frat parties are dry, themed parties that generally suck. If you do find a party that actually has alcohol, you aren't going to meet any new people because the "party scene" at Case is just like high school: its pretty much the same people at every party, hence, you don't meet anyone new. About the only way you will have anything that resembles a normal college social life is if you join a frat...but oh, wait, all the frats are pretty much giant sausage fests as there is a 5:1 guy to girl ration at ALL parties. This leads me to my next point...
Girls at Case are ugly. Not to say many of the guys are much better, as a majority sit in their rooms all day eating cheetos, playing RPGs, and dreaming of Dungeons and Dragons. To tell you the truth, there are some girls here that I would call attractive. It doesn't take long to meet all 10 of them. In all honesty though, it is very depressing to go home for weekends and see more attractive girls in 10 minutes at the mall than I've seen all year on my college campus, or to visit Ohio State where seemingly all the girls are better looking than Case girls.
Finally, to tell the truth to all you guys out there, unless you play football, you are not going to get laid at Case, it is as simple as that. This is obscene; a college where you can not get any action, let alone a relationship. The only sex you will get from a decent girl while at Case is if your girlfriend from home is visiting you for the weekend.
When I enrolled at Case, I didn't expect it to be as crazy socially as a school like Ohio State. However, I did expect it to be a place where you could have fun and be able to at least get some type of relationship with a girl, after all, isn't that a big part of what college is all about? Overall, my advice for any guy thinking about going to Case: If you don't care at all about girls or partying and your idea of having fun is doing math problems and playing video games, go to Case. If not stay the hell away. God knows after this year is over I am.
Case's unprecidented amount of porn on its network is the only thing that keeps the suicide rate down.
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