Rural Dictionary

canada

Well, after being buzzed on my extra-large Tim Horton's coffee and not being able to sleep, I read the entry for "Canada" on UD. From what I can see here, it looks like the Canadians on here got bored around post 175... Because from there on, its just Canada-bashers repeating the exact same thing that the people before posted. Wow - the intelligence never ceases to amaze. Just as well, there are a few issues I'd like to clear up:

1) Canadians are not under-educated. Thankfully, our colleges and universities (which, by the way, are completely different things) are publicly-funded, with generally fixed tuition fees (in Ontario, around $4500 a year). This allows post-secondary education to be much more accessible here than in America. Compare this with getting a comparable education at an American university (lets say... Cornell, where my dad went.). Tuition at Cornell is $18,000/year at a public-college and $32,000/year at a private-college. In addition, our secondary school system is built on a common ground - so that it doesn't matter what high school you go to, you will be just as well prepared for university (hence us not needing to take an admission test, such as the SATs, in order to gain entrance into university).

2) Yes, it is true. Our health-care system is not perfect. Nor are we claiming that it is perfectly "free". Believe me, we are well aware that we are taxed for our health-care. However, it is universal. By this, I mean that every citizen has equal access to the system - you cannot buy your way to the front of the line, nor can someone be turned away because they do not have the money. While it is true that some choose to go to the States for certain procedures that happen in Canada, "most Canadians" (as formerly stated in this listing) DO NOT go to the States to have procedures performed. Things can progress very quickly this side of the border. I recently had a battle with a tumour. I discovered it one week, a few days later I had a biopsy. Once the results came back a few days later, I was immediately in for an MRI (which, by the way, did not cost me anything). That day, I also had blood tests done (once again, did not cost me anything). I've also had a serious illness in the past, which found me in my bed laying down for 4 months. During this bout, I had to go into the hospital for blood tests every second day, and was required to be at the hospital connected to an IV machine for 5 hours every Sunday. While at the hospital, I was provided with a private room, in addition to meals. Guess what? All covered by my government health insurance paid for through taxes. In the States, this would have cost my family a small fortune. Oh yes, and it doesn't put a family in debt just to deliver a baby.

3) You complain about us allowing gay marriage - we complain about war mongering. to-may-to vs. to-mah-to. Let's forget about it.

4) Saying that Canadians are boring and have no culture. Why do Americans sew Canadian flags onto their baggage and clothing before traveling overseas? Enough said.

5) I can't even count the number of people who have brought up the War of 1812 in this post. We get the point - only one person needs to make the correction.

6) Some definitions on this topic on UD refer to Liberals as being hellions. Well, same can be said about conservatives. Its impossible to prove which of liberals or conservatives are "better" as it is completely a matter of personal opinion and belief.

7) We are not America Junior. And it is entirely offensive to hear that. Why don't we call the States "Texas Senior"? Because it is known that the whole country of American is not like Texas. As such, Canada is not entirely like America - though some of it is.

8) Although claims have been made that Canada does not exist as a sovereign entity from the States, this is untrue. Think of missile defence. You still don't have Canada on in that program, do you?

9) Claims have also been made that Canada does not exist as a sovereign entity because our Head of State is still Queen Elizabeth II. If you do your research, the Queen simply remains as Head of State as a formality out of respect to our ties as a former British colony. With a cheesy official title like "Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom, Canada and Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith" or in French "Elizabeth Deux, par la grâce de Dieu Reine du Royaume-Uni, du Canada et de ses autres royaumes et territoires, Chef du Commonwealth, Défenseur de la Foi" - you know its gotta be just a formality. Saying Canada isn't sovereign is like saying New Zealand and Australia aren't sovereign. There's your explanation to why we use British figures on our coins, post #196 - we are a constitutional monarchy.

10) It has been mentioned that Canadians have only contributed bad music to the world. However, many of the recording artists that you think to be "American" are actually Canadians. Take a closer look. Examples include: Alexisonfire, Paul Anka, April Wine, Jann Arden, Randy Bachman, Bedouin Soundclash, The Guess Who, Billy Talent, Bran Van 3000, Michael Buble, 54-40, Hot Hot Heat, Colin James, Diana Krall, Chantal Kreviazuk, Ashley MacIsaac, Matthew Good (Formerly of the Matthew Good Band), Sarah McLauchlan, Alanis Morissette, Bif Naked, Rush, Theory of a Deadman, Three Days Grace, The Tragically Hip, David Wilcox, and finally who could forget Niel Young... Just to name few. And to settle the score we sincerely appoligize for any of the bad artists we have produced, including: Celine Dion, Avril Lavigne, and Shania Twain.

11) Many Hollywood actors are also Canadian, including Jim Carrey, John Candy, Kim Cattrall, Michael J. Fox, Brendan Fraser, Eugene Levy, Mike Meyers, Matthew Perry, William Shatner, and Kiefer Sutherland. We sincerely apologize for ever releasing Tom Green from his cage.

12) For those who do not think Canadians have contributed anything of value to the world, here is a condensed list:
- Group of Seven (Painters)
- Roberta Bondar (Female Astronaut)
- Margaret Atwood (Author)
- Margaret Laurence (Author)
- Yann Martel (Author)
- Conrad Black (US Press Lord)
- Robert Campeau (Former controlling owner of Bloomingdales in the US)
- Tim Horton (Hockey Player, Entrepreneur of Tim Hortons Coffee)
- Louis Mayer (Co-founder of MGM Studios)
- Isador Sharp (Founder of Four Seasons Hotel chain)
- John Molson (Founder of Molson Breweries)
- Nat Taylor (Movie theatre mogul, inventor of the cineplex or multi-auditorium movie theatre)
- Jack Warner (Founder of Warner Bros.)
- John Byrne (Creator of such comics as The Fantastic Four, Superman, X-Men, The Incredible Hulk, etc)
- Todd McFarlane (Creator of Spiderman, Spawn)
- Joe Shuster (Creator of Superman)
- Sue Johanson (Famous sex educator - most entertaining old lady ever... if you can see her live, do it)
- Terry Fox (Attempted one-legged cross country run for cancer research; raised millions of dollars; Canadian hero)
- Rick Hansen (Paraplegic athlete who completed an around the world marathon for spinal cord research)
- Alexander Graham Bell (Invented the telephone. YES, it was invented in Canada. However, it was DEVELOPED further in the States)
- Joseph-Armand Bombarier (Inventor of the snowmobile)
- Mathew Evans and Henry Woodward (Co-inventors of the first electric light-bulb. OFFICIAL LIGHT BULB STORY: Thomas Edison bought Woodward and Evan's patents in both countries before starting his own light bulb development)
- Reginald Fessenden (Invented sonar; produced first radio broadcast)
- Sir Sandford Fleming (Invented time zones)
- James Gosling (Invented Java computer language)
- Elijah McCoy (Invented automatic machinery lubricator; reason for the saying "The Real McCoy")
- Cluny MacPherson (Invented first gas-mask used in WW1)
- Gideon Sundback (Invented the zipper)
- Frederick Banting and Charles Best (Co-discoverers of insulin)
- Tommy Douglas (Father of Medicare in Canada)
- Wilfred Bigelow (Invented the pacemaker)
- MANY and MOST excellent hockey players, in addition to other athletes
- In essence, Hollywood. Without Canada's very large tax-grants for film companies, it would be tres tres expensive for US companies to produce films.

13) In response to post number 147 - no one even mentioned penicillin anywhere.

14) I hope I never have to repeat this again. Canada does not equal COLD. I live in Northern Ontario. During the summer, temperatures are on average 30C=86F - however it feels much warmer (closer to 37C or 100F because of our humid climate). In the winter, it is VERY cold. It is not uncommon for temperatures to reach anywhere from -20C=-4F to -30C=-22F... It is even not that uncommon to see temperatures drop below -40C=-40F with the windchill. However, many Canadians make use of their sunny summers to keep their skin nice and tanned (IE We are not pale, in response to post #218). Finally, the most southern point in Canada is at level with northern California - take that post #195 with "the coldest state of the U.S.A.).

15) In response to Post#204 - What do you care if the comedians are gay? You still laugh, regardless!

16) In response to Post#213 - Canadian Bacon (while a great movie) and South Park are horrible examples of Canadian culture. Try watching a documentary instead.

17) In response to Post#215 - Next time you sit and watch TV for hours on end, pay attention to the credits. You will realise that many of your "American" TV shows and movies are supported by one of the many national and/or provincial tax credits available. As well, chances are, the show or movie has been filmed in Canada (ie. Queer as Folk, Doc, American Psycho, Cinderella Man, Home Alone 1, Home Alone 2, etc, X-Men, X2, and many others). Only then will you realise that the US only controls the media in one sense of the word.

18) In response to Post#221 - You say that "zip" would be pronounced "zed-ip" by our pronunciation of the letter "z". However, if you follow your pronunciation given (that being "zee"), the word "zip" would be pronounce "zee-ip" - which it is most definitely not. Please learn the fundamentals of the English language and Western alphabet before you try to sound intelligent. Same goes for the letter "x". For example, the word "xenotransplantation, which is the transplantation of organs between species is not pronounced "ex-en-o-trans-plant-a-tion" but rather "zee-no-trans-plan-ta-tion". Same thing goes for other words starting with "x" such as "xanathin", "xenia" and "xylophone". No further explanation needed.

19) In response to Post#222 - In my personal experience, for every one American you like, there are about 1000 you would love to shoot as well. This is all a matter of personal preference. Have you ever been to Canada? Because, I can assure you, your 1:1000 ratio just doesn't seem right. There are only a slight number of people who I would love to shoot here in Canada, and I can assure you - there are many more where those come from in the States (due to your immense population).

20) In closing, I think I will modify Post#222's "example". He did say it well (less a few spelling mistakes). I am a proud Canadian who refuses to stand by and let Americans insult my country. However, I beleive that we should get along - we are our closest trading partners, cultural partners, and social partners. As well, we're the closest thing, besides Britain, that America has as a friend right now.

Canada is a country with a population of about 32 million.

by SudburyBranden July 14, 2006

60👍 51👎

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