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he will rape you if you lay a finger on him so screw off
look its chuck norris, lets get his autograph but make sure he doesnt kick your ass.
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a.k.a. God; The master of everything.
When Chuck Norris gives blood he refuses a syringe and asks for a gun and a bucket.
When Chuck Norris goes swimming he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norrised.
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NOT GOD
NOT AWSOME
CANT STUNT FIGHT
No one is god except god your all going to hell for saying chuck norris is god. Not only that he can't even throw his punches you can tell there fake. If you like chuck norris your a redneck sonofabitch.
I am chuck norris and im not god.
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A Kick ass guy whose name is now used in everything.
Chuck Norris is sweet but F*** anyone who uses him name to much. If u use him name once more he will spit on you and his spit will burn you in half.
guy 1:sup
guy 2: nothen
Random guy in chat room: CHUCK NORRIS
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the biggest playa in the world and the biggest tragic hero of our age
When chuck norris wanted to have relations with Carmen Electra, all he had to say was "You ready for the Norris inside you?". She couldn't jump on him fast enough. Sadly, when he came, his semen roundhouse-kicked its way through her body, destroying it from the inside.
Chuck's tears then caused the hurricane in Lousiana
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.
Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There we no survivors.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris can beleive it's not butter.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a guy, its not because he is gay, its because he has ran out of women
The man who invented the roundhouse kick is none other than Chuck Norris
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the most badass motherfucker in the world... and if you think you're more badass than him... ur probably already dead by now!
chuck norris once went to the doctor to test for steroids... he gave a urine sample and the doctor said it came up 100% positive for steroids, he simply replied, "where the hell do you think they even get steroids?"
because in fact, chuck norris's pee is steroids
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