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Here's more: Again, to grease the rod, to squash the bug, to shake hands with your penis, to squeeze the eclair, to fuck oneself, to awaken the slumbering giant, to flick the dick, to practice ju-dick-su, to train oneself in kung-penis, to play one's oboe, to rob the sperm bank, as well as take out a loan from one's sperm bank, to make your elephant laugh so hard that he squirts milk through his trunk, to shoot the shit, to cockadoodledoo, to make your worm sneeze, to visit the fountain of youth, to take a trip to Mexico with only one pair of underwear, to spray the butter, to spray the Cool-Whip, to get your "smack" on, to pump the hydrant, to evacuate one's testicles, to question the Mauve Avenger, to do the math, to calculate pi, to pleasure oneself manually, to practice stick-shift, to open the stairway to heaven, to save the whale, to squirt the mayonnaise, to attempt to reach orgasm in solitude (although not always), to climb/hike up pleasure mountain,to slap the Puerto Rican, to pour the salad dressing, to give an angel its wing, to kill a mockingbird. And there are still more to come (pun intended)!
Ah, masturbation....
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Giving yourself a damned good seing to.I started when I was twelve and when I was about to cum, it hurt like hell as the semen shoots up from the testes for the first time.
Take off all your clothes, stand in front of the mirror and wank yourself dry.
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To play with your penis and jack off because you don't have any bitches to have sex with. In some religions masturbating is a sin and God will be pissed off you if you masturbate.
Guy 1:Dude I caught our friend doing something with himself on his bed.
Guy 2: Yeah, he has no bitches so he needs to masturbate sometimes to get pee out of his erect boner.
Guy 1: Man, I feel sorry for him.
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1. When someone is masturbating and either an awful sound, smell, thought or sight suddenly disturbs the person, thus ending the masturbation process abruptly.
2. Whenever a masturbating session is disturbed.
A. Ray was masturbating when he unexpectedly thought about his neighbor's grandmother and completely lost his hard-on. It was masturbing.
B. Ray was masturbating in his car and, unexpectedly, his neighbor caught him. It was too masturbing for Ray to go on.
C. Ray was masturbating on the toilet when he unexpectedly heard his neighbor screaming in his sleep from night terrors. Ray was somewhat masturbed by this.
D. Ray was masturbating to online porn when, unexpectedly, he discovered his neighbor was watching him from the living room window again. Very masturbing.
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chances are, you probably already know what masturbate means, and you're just looking it up to find out how to make yourself feel better. so, if you are a guy, wrap your fingers and thumb around your penis, and move it up and down. another way is to wrap your hand around your penis with one hand, while creating a "lip" shape with the other. usually this is done by putting your index and thumb finger together. now, the "lip" hand is on top of the penis, while the other hand is underneath. now, slide your hands up and down.
for girls, start by putting your finger (usually index or middle) half-way into your vagina. then move it around in circles. this will get your blood pumping. then, go further in, and start moving your finger in and out of your vagina. now, add a 2nd or 3rd finger, and thrust them into your vagina. when they are inside, jerk your fingers up and down, rather than in and out.
you can also fold a pillow in half, and hump away. it feels better if you put a can, or something hard in the pillow. you can also try this. put your heel under your ass, and into where you vagina is. rub away.
oh i love to masturbate when no one is home.
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a normal way of relieving horniness. it actually is healthy and its better than going aroung getting pregnant lyk a hoe.
masturbation is normal. only prudes are agianst it. just dont do it in public.....
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a simple form of "stress-release"
Jake: "Dude, there is too much homework here man; too much stress for me."
Dude: "Try masturbation, it's stress release"
Jake: "Yeah, thats right. Hey man, I'm going to need pictures of your sister then."
Dude: "Oh yeah sure."
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