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When a penis can not under any circumstances get an erection it is like a wilted cucumber.
Girls and some guys have been known to use cucumbers as sex toys, but a wilted cucumber is just no use to anyone.
Unlike whiskey dick or normal impotency. Even viagra cannot cure a bad case of the wilted cucumber.
Gary was so turned off by that girls nasty fetish that his chub turned into a wilted cucumber and he could not recover not matter how many viagra pills he inhaled.
A complicated sex act with many steps. First, you shove a cucumber up a girls vagina, and then you let the juice drip onto a pizza. Then, you roll the pizza around the cucumber like it’s a burrito. 🌯 Finally, you eat it like a burrito and let the juices run down your chin and the girl licks them. 👅
Hey yo timsha do you wanna meet in the back room at dominos for a nice juicy session of pizza and cucumbering? I wanna shove that cucumber so far up there and it’s gonna make the pizza turn into a fucking wet towel.
A man who has been fixed (vasectomy) has a "seedless cucumber"
I can't get pregnant, he has a seedless cucumber!
When a woman is aroused but has no toys so she fills a condom with her own piss and sets it in the freezer till its frozen solid and uses it in anyway she likes.
"I had no one with me at home so I did a frozen cucumber", said Karen
When you put a nicely sized, and well oiled cucumber into a girls vagina, just for shits and giggles.
"Me and my girlfriend were bored, so she deicided to let me give her a nice cucumber rumble...man I love that bitch."
A cucumber that is brought to a mall so it can be used as a weapon and sex toy for women.
Man, that mall cucumber is a great weapon and a sex toy.
When you take a cucumber and stick it in boiling water for a few minutes, take it and hollow it out, then jack off until orgasm. It feels so good.
Guy1: Dude, what are you gonna to tonight?
Guy2: I think I'm gonna watch some porn while wanking cucumber style.
Guy1: Nice. Wanna do it together?
Guy2: Sure.