i smoke brocoli

meaning "i smoke weed"

" told the doctor i'm a healthy kid i smoke brocoli".

-Kodak Black 😈

what are you smoking?

when someone thinks you may be acting weird due to drugs, mostly said as a joke and they probs dont rlly think ur on drugs. say this to people when they say cringy crap or are just weird.

owen: what are you smoking? LOL
mike: I'm smoking your mom

smoking is bad for you

A phrase that wankers, cock suckers, preps, and fuck wits cannot help but utter when they see a smoker happily enjoying a cigarette.

A) Smoking is bad for you.
B) Holy shit! This stuff is bad for me?!?! Why didn't anyone tell me?!?! Oh wait, there's a FUCKING WARNIGN ON THE SIDE OF THE PACK, WHICH I SEE EVERY GODDAMNED DAY! PISS OFF, YOU COCK-SUCKING-PREPPY-ASSED-FUCK-WITTED-WANKER!

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Smoking Clam Syndrome

A common disturb that still affects too large of a part of the male humans.
The male individual with SCS starts showing symptoms of it when, dating some particularly hot broad, he starts losing touch with his own reality and himself as he used to be, and as he used to be known by his friends (yielding to any stupid tantrums she may come up with, skipping ballgames with buddies, paying attention to silly frivolous shit to please her...).

The condition, in its worst, degenerating forms, could bring to extremes such as jealousy driven paranoia, lost of any interest but trying (in vain) to satisfy any other of her requests, or even leaving a family with kids to pursue an hot babe that will certainly leave you broke or broken.

Mark: "hey man, Joe's completely out of control. Since he got with that chick, Shenonda, all he does is checking his phone, trying to reach her, taking notes of her gf's birthdays to appear nice and establish himself in her circle...".

David: "I know...he got the smoking clam syndrome just like a couple of years ago with that stripper from Diego".

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smoke da queef

take a large bong rip, exhale into your partner's love hole, and then enjoy the hit from your partner's natural pipe.

dude, I'll marry the first girl that lets me smoke da queef!!

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smoking a turd in purgatory

An admonition given to an individual who engages in socially unacceptable behavior, especially at the expense of another.

"I told Jimmy that if he didn't apologize to that nun for asking if it was her breath or her pussy that smelled terrible, he would be smoking a turd in purgatory."

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Smoking the glass dick

Slang used to describe someone who is smoking meth, as a "glass dick" typically refers to a meth pipe.

"She's lost a ton of weight. I hope she's not smoking the glass dick."

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