In this TED talk I will...

Used when making a rant as a sarcastic joke but not really wanting to type the whole thing out.

"Ryan from HSM actually liked Zeke, In this TED talk I will..."

Do I want a bag

So you buy like... 2 weeks of shopping
You go to the checkout, And someone says "Do you want a bag"
DO I WANT A BAG?
OF COURSE I FUCKING DO
I AINT A GREEK GOD YOU KNOW WITH A MILLION FUCKING ARMS
I AINT AINT GONNA CARRY IT ON MY FUCKING BACK AM I.
OF COURSE I NEED A FUCKING BAG
CARRYING 2 PINTS OF MILK ON MY ARMS
2 FUCKING BAGS OF CRIPS
FUCKING 3 LAMB CHOPS
2 CHICKENS
3 BEEF
COURSE I NEED A BAG.
WHAT YOU THINK IM GONNA FUCKING DO? JUDGGLE THE CUNTS? I DONT THINK SO.

"Do I want a bag? Of Course I fucking do!"

I mean, sometimes

To draw attention to a unique or random occurrence by pretending or acting like the event isn’t random

Chase: I am walking around the park and I found out that the coworker I hate moved into the neighborhood!
Nathan: I mean, sometimes. . .

national i love you day

tell your loved ones or partner how much you appreciate them and value their comfort

ex: Pan: hey joey! i love you so much even if i dont always express it or show it.

Joey: why are you telling me this now?
Pan: Bc it’s national i love you day duh!!

I farted in the group

something to use when you’re texting your friends on a group chat and fart

me: yo guys guess what
amy: what
Kylie: what
me: I farted in the group

Would You Like A Side Of Fucks I Can Give You?

A man named ottertots_ made this word up on the spot. Some fuck head thinks otherwise. Well he’s fucking wrong

“Would you like a side of fucks I can give you?”

do i look shiny

Another way of saying "brand new" as in annoyingly green. To be a greenhorn, amateurs, inexperienced, novice, etc. to the point of dislike by others. I a social setting a shiny person (brand new) would be ostrcized because they do not know what they are talking about, pretends to do so. The shiny person would view the conversation too esoteric for their own good, yet attempts to join in anyway.

"You know I'm gonna bring that fire at the party tonight." said Alfredo to Adam.

Adam reponds, "some of that sticky icky? Fu sho! I thought you where gonna bring that shwag shit."

"Do I look shiny to you? Of course I'm gonna bring the bomb shit!"

In which juaqin tries to join in the conversation as well as the event says, "can I come? I have matches dipped in honey."

Alfredo and Adam both look at each other and say in tandem, "this nigga's hella shiny!"