evil jesus

Evil Jesus is a nickname for the infamous E+J Brandy, everyone's favorite bum liquor of choice! Dirt cheap and 80 proof, this is what the dead beats living on the streets drink, and is also favored amongst generally income-limited folks such as most of those in NJ and rappers trying to make it this day in age.

"Swallow a bottle of that ol' Evil Jesus"
- TMFSE

"Told me to bring a sack o' yak and a flask of Easy (Evil) Jesus, cuz he needed somebody to talk to the trees wit'"
-GDP

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pull a jesus

1. When someone accomplishes something in a way that seems miraculous.
2. When someone tries to resolve a disagreement using jesus or the bible to back him/her up.

1. They thought he died in that weird cloning experiment but he pulled a jesus.
2. He was really pissed, but then she tried to pull a jesus on him and made it even worse.

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Dirty Jesus

Much like the Dirty Sanchez, but in the Missionary Position.

much like the dirty sanchez, but yet not... more like the Dirty Jesus

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Cabbage jesus

A overweight cunt who is full of life and loves to joke around with anyone. He loves to make friends and will even share his lunch with you. He will go out of his way for anyone!

Bro 1: did u just see that guy? he just gave the homeless family 100 dollars!
Bro 2: yeah! he always does that his name is cabbage jesus..
Bro 1: what a mad cunt we should meet him sometime..

Bro 2: hell yeah!

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Jesus Ortiz

A very charming yet serious fellow, has a few laughs now and then, has a very big appetite could swallow a whole town if it was possible yet very gentle wouldn't kill a fly. if this type of guy is not talking then there is a slight hum coming from him that sounds like Mexican or metal music. Anybody can get along with this person of they know how to take jokes and have a huge appetite.

Billy: look at that guy he is mostly serious among everyone except his gf now look at him laugh.

John: that must be a jesus ortiz!

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Golden Jesus

Pure pharmaceutical grade heroin (diacetylmorphine).

The term was first coined in the autobiographical book `Candy´ by Luke Davies (and subsequently the movie `Candy´ starring Heath Ledger and Abbie Cornish), when the character Casper (Geoffrey Rush) a lecturing chemist & sometime opiate user synthesizes his own `Golden Jesus´ (diacetylmorphine) from Panadine Forte.

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Lying for Jesus

See also: Conservapedia

Lying is a sin, but Lying for Jesus is good, because it brings poor, hellbound souls to him. Godspeed!

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