AnnihilatIng A Girls Vagina While She Is Sleeping
The Sleep Ninja Left Me A Note That Said Here Is Some Aspirin. You Will Need It. And There Was A Pregnancy Test In The Bathroom.
1๐ 5๐
When you have a dream about black people coming into the damn room and sealing evey goddamn thing in your room the black people drugged you that's why your cannot move they steal all your things and start dancing and then punch you in the face and sit on you and than leave
Oh I had a werid dream about black people in sleep paralysis
Person: what was it?
They were stealing all of my shit
1๐ 5๐
Basically wanting to say "fuck yeah I want it" but not having the balls to do so
"Be my burd"
"Let me sleep on it"
8๐ 5๐
When a male masturbates with a burrito.
I caught Patrick giving himself a mexican sleeping bag when we came home from Chipotle.
14๐ 11๐
A condition exhibited by many Apple laptops whereby the machine will not wake up or go to sleep properly. The condition can be caused by either hardware or software errors.
My Apple computer must have been bitten by a Tsetse fly, because it's caught the Macintosh Sleeping Sickness.
9๐ 6๐
The best thing every invented
When your really drunk (doesnt work very well when drunk) or really stoned/wasted (works best) and u are feeling tired you find a comfortable place and lay down in a semi comerd state. you are still awake enouth to stop people from tea baging you ect. but after 10 minutes you will still feel real tired but wait a minute and you will get all your energy back and be wide awake able to party again for another few hours
1) Hey john im just going to have a 10 minute sleep. that last session really knocked me out.
2) hold up ill just have a 10 minute sleep before we drive off.
3) Nah they cant teabag me when im asleep im still wide awake when im sleeping
10๐ 7๐
A sleep-o-gasm is an orgasm in your sleep, and you dont know wot happened..
Jimmy:Snore....Snore.....Splat!
Next morning....
Mom: O My God! Jimmy! u had a sleep-o-gasm
22๐ 20๐