I Need A Bug!

I need some food!!!

I Need A Bug!: Crim be a good kitchen bitch and get me a damn bug.

I will American you

When you forcefully make an individual drink the blood of an AR-15 while they are under the influence of many, many drugs.

British person walks past an American.
"Hey you!" Says the American, "I will American you. "
The American grabs his local AR-15 to go do the ritual.

i don't have a phone

A mostly used phrase used by females to try and kindly reject ugly motherfuckers but instead destroys the man's soul.

Guy: Yo, can i have your snap?

Gal: Sorry, I don't have a phone.

Guy: Oh lmao that's alright, i don't have a phone either you know haha.

KSFWLN I&I, INC

THE WARFARE HEADQUARTERS HOUSE, OF THE ROLE IN THE CORPS THE COMMANDANT OF THE CADETS IN THE CADETS. VANGUARDMIL.COM, IS THE HOME OF THE U.S. ARMED FORCES, UNITED STATES MILITARY SERVICES AND THE SELECTIVE SERVICE SYSTEM, TITLE 10 OF THE U.S. CODE, IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, IN THE U.S.A

KSFWLN I&I, INC IS THE WARFARE HEADQUARTERS

...I did something

The noise you hear before your friend is about to tell you that they zip tied their two big toes together.

Phone rings:
Friend 1: Hey what's up, you never call me?

Friend 2: ...I did something

Friend 1: Damn it, not again. Are you at least near scissors this time?

Friend 2: well um... funny story, I was going on a hike in the woods and I found a zip tie in my bag...

Friend 1: so what you're saying is you're in the middle of the woods alone with your big toes zip tied together?

Friend 2: Uhm... yeah pretty much...

Friend 1: (bursts out laughing) Well have fun with that, this is gonna be a fun story to tell my parents (hangs up)

Friend 2: Wait what do you mean tell your parents? Hello? Don't leave me here.

i fucked your mom#6969

The best Preston roleplay account to exist

Person A: do you have discord friends?
Me: yes I have 'i fucked your mom#6969'

I wanna go bang-bang

I want to take my revenge on society by murdering the first random person i encounter

when you hear the phrase i wanna go bang-bang, please be kind enough to immediately alert the authorities and make double sure that the person gets a proper psyche-eval

1👍 1👎