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Very painful 15 minutes worth of pooping almost your insides out because of all the lumber you carry all day. It's usually a lot of sounds of pain followed by a sort of diarrhea pressure washer spray of poop.
Oh my God Bob has lumber turds, he's pooping his brains out. I can hear him screaming and the smell is very alien like.
When you take a shit and it falls down the bend in the toilet before you flush, hiding it from sight.
Person 1-'Dude, I swear I just crapped...'
Person 2-'Musta' been an invisi-turd'
A piece of feces that sticks to the side of a toilet bowl after flushing that can resemble the look of a slug.
whoever used the toilet last was kind enough to leave a turd slug camped on the side of the bowl.
A turd savant is the Rainman of poop. This unique genius can tell you the state of your health with a quick look at your poop.
Turd savant: See how that log veers to the left? Not good. Drink chamomile tea at bedtime for a week to get more rest. Then snap a pic of your morning poop, text it to me and I will give you an update.
When you have to warm your self up by coating yourself in doo doo.
What are you doing in there? "Shut up man, I making my turd fleece!"
The often disregarded fecal matter that morphs from a once gelatinous substance to a hard, concrete like formation that stops previously liquidized fecal excrement in it's tracks, whereas no further deposition of excremental matter may occur henceforth. (See "poop plug.")
Dangit Johnny! If you don't hurry up I'll surely soil myself! My plug turd is nearing it's expulsion!
When you go to the bathroom to #1 and the other stall is occupied but dead silent upon your arrival, pausing their #2 flow so you do not hear the demonic things they are capable of.
Girl 1: I just went to the bathroom and all of a sudden Alexandra was silent while I went #1. It was weird that she just sat there and listened to me pee. I knew it was her because of her shoes.
Girl 2: Yo, you totally caused a turd pause.