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An extremely over-priced city where you must be patient, be prepared to pay shite-loads of rent , be prepared to get stuck in traffic. Full of immigrants, commonly; Fijian, Indian, Chinese, Pacific Islander are the main ethnic groups here. Employers here would rather hire foreign skilled workers who struggle with english for cheaper labour rates rather than pay a few dollars more per hour for local tradesman etc... with great english skills. Auckland is pretty much a smaller version of Sydney, Australia. Has some pretty spots and good to visit, will stress you the hell out living and working here.
Person from elsewhere in New Zealand "Hey mate, I lost my job, you think I should move up to Auckland ?"
Aucklander " Yeah sure, if you're willing to live off canned spaghetti and instant noodles in order to make the weekly rent bill"
Auckland, New Zealand
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The act of having your SO laying upside down and taking a dump on their “downstairs” in a swirl (ice cream like) formation. And then allowing it to slid down their front to their face and leaving a snail trail.
I was doing Matilda dingo style. I pulled out and gave her a New Zealand Mudsnail and it waltzed all the way down to her mouth.
Having anal sex in geographical regions that partain to both hot and snowy weather in the same season.
Geography teacher:"Stacy got a New Zealand Canteen on vacation in Europe, now tell me class what places could she have been to?"
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Holding in a large shit for the longest time possible and then running to the closest person bending them over and excreting in their asshole giving them a warm and tingly sensation. Only in New Zealand
Stu: Yo i gave my wife a New Zealand nuke last night!
Brendan: No way me too and she loved it
Pretty much the best two countries in the world.
Bet you wish you from either of these countries.
;
Man, I wish I could be from Australia or New Zealand, they're just so cool, ay!?
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The topic of a satirical ad from an Australian entertainment show called The Gruen Transfer.
"Let's all go to New Zealand, we can have it all as our land, no planes, no tanks, no navy, not to want it would be crazy"
It's just 100% Too Easy.
Why would Australia invade New Zealand? There's nothing there but sheep and orcs.
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A beautiful country full of mostly talented people who don't feel a need to go round kissing the yank president's arse like some Aussies do (feel sorry for the rest though) it's not actually in Europe though as is widely believed by some, sadly it is in close proximity to some ugly Australians. (We have ugly types here too don't worry) we are the first country to fly (Not USA halfwits) and the first to give women the vote and to climb Mt Everest.
New Zealanders who Australia can keep (absolutely)
Russell Crowe
Derryn Hinch
Ex Queensland Premier (Peterson)
Russell Crowe is in no way a New Zealander. He is just a disgrace and a typical example of the ugly Australian.
Time to do away with the sense of inferiority with Australia which some Australians have told me is unnesscessary. I think New Zealand can do it.
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