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Vance

Vance (verb): To have carnal relations with an inanimate object, particularly furniture such as a couch or sectional.

I wouldn't sit there - John just vanced that chair.

Oh my God Becky, that guy is vancing in the Ikea showroom!

Bob, that couch is dead sexy. I want to vance it.

by MIR482 July 27, 2024


Vance

To have sexual intercourse with an inanimate object.

Do you think the muffin man has vanced one of those muffins, or does he just like them the normal way?

by Geek.blather July 30, 2024


Vance

A slug-ish fem-boy with little to no motivation.

I have a friend who is a vance.

by romiek August 16, 2023


Vance

The frothy mixture of lube, semen, and couch lint that is sometimes the byproduct of couch fucking

Last night was wild, I spent hours washing the Vance off of myself and my gorgeous classic Knoll

by Vance69 July 29, 2024


Vance

Cash found between the cushions of a couch. Especially if it's dirty and gross.

Named after JD Vance, the unpopular VP candidate who the Internet claimed had sex with a couch.

Oh, man I'm so broke I had to go digging for vance just to buy some Ramen.

by JamesSPB July 30, 2024


Vance

Noun. A severe penile abrasion, esp. one gained during unprotected sexual intercourse with a couch.

Man, I got such a bad vance the other night that my doctor told me I had to lay off the love seat for a whole week.

by Apsis July 26, 2024


Vance

Verb: 1. To hump a couch or other piece of upholstered furniture.

2. To actively seek out and search for bestiality pornography.

Noun: 3. A drastic contradictory change in a publicly expressed opinion concerning an important matter.

Adjective: (Vancey) 4. Weird.

1. He Vanced his mother’s couch; gave new meaning to the word “loveseat”.

2. He Vanced the Internet looking for woman-dolphin porn videos.

3. He said Trump was Hitler; then he pulled a Vance and said Trump was the greatest.

4. The fact you took pictures of yourself in a wig and makeup, but then say you dislike drag queens is very Vancey.

by Apocalypse69 August 12, 2024