Vance (verb): To have carnal relations with an inanimate object, particularly furniture such as a couch or sectional.
I wouldn't sit there - John just vanced that chair.
Oh my God Becky, that guy is vancing in the Ikea showroom!
Bob, that couch is dead sexy. I want to vance it.
To have sexual intercourse with an inanimate object.
Do you think the muffin man has vanced one of those muffins, or does he just like them the normal way?
A slug-ish fem-boy with little to no motivation.
I have a friend who is a vance.
The frothy mixture of lube, semen, and couch lint that is sometimes the byproduct of couch fucking
Last night was wild, I spent hours washing the Vance off of myself and my gorgeous classic Knoll
Cash found between the cushions of a couch. Especially if it's dirty and gross.
Named after JD Vance, the unpopular VP candidate who the Internet claimed had sex with a couch.
Oh, man I'm so broke I had to go digging for vance just to buy some Ramen.
Noun. A severe penile abrasion, esp. one gained during unprotected sexual intercourse with a couch.
Man, I got such a bad vance the other night that my doctor told me I had to lay off the love seat for a whole week.
Verb: 1. To hump a couch or other piece of upholstered furniture.
2. To actively seek out and search for bestiality pornography.
Noun: 3. A drastic contradictory change in a publicly expressed opinion concerning an important matter.
Adjective: (Vancey) 4. Weird.
1. He Vanced his mother’s couch; gave new meaning to the word “loveseat”.
2. He Vanced the Internet looking for woman-dolphin porn videos.
3. He said Trump was Hitler; then he pulled a Vance and said Trump was the greatest.
4. The fact you took pictures of yourself in a wig and makeup, but then say you dislike drag queens is very Vancey.