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If someone says your hands are hairy it means you masterbate regulary.
You have hairy hands! WANKER!
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Skills so incredible that they have the effect on observers of an excellent handjob.
I would like to make sweet sweet love to your show four times a day for the next year and have 5000 little babies running around to keep giving me mad hand... Oh my God that mad, mad hand. Please never go off the air because all the joy will be exhausted from my life and I will probably kill a family of bunny rabbits before turning the shotgun on myself.
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When one uses their own mangled hand to masterbate and/or digitally sodomize themself. Injury should be lawnmower or blender related.
"Ashley thought it was weird when I lifted up my sack and started giving my asshole the good old Kandis Hand"
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Hands that fuck whatever they touch. Beyond clumsy.
Person with sexy hands will drop or break everything that is touched. Will crash a computer by pressing one button on the keyboard. The person is useless at ball sports (couldn't catch a flu during a pandemic). For a guy with sexy hands it can take years to get to second base with a girl as he always ends up accidentally injuring them (eg: accidental punch in the head when taking sweater off, will never be able to take bra off, is the type of person that will accidentally head butt a girl when attempting to kiss her, etc)
Sean and Brittany are preparing for a party at their new apartment. Todd is helping.
Sean: did you ask Todd to carry the box out of the car?
Brittany: sure, why?
Sean: that box contains all of our wine! Todd has sexy hands! he is guaranteed to drop the box and smash all of our booze for tonight. what the fuck are we going to drink now?? look outside, I bet you he hasn't even got up the drive way in one piece. I bet you that it is goddam hiroshima of alcohol out there right now!
Brittany: I thought you told me that he had sexy feet?
Sean: he does!
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the hand ya beat ur captain with
phil you just shook his captain's hand!!!!
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Jam Hands (aka: J H) can be defined as one who cannot avoid keeping their hands free of the most undesirable sticky messes one could possibly accumulate on their hands. Some examples of this are: JAM, chocolate ... anything food related really, also many unmentionables such as their own expectorant. Sometimes they can go days without knowing this and actually amass more of a Jam Hands situation which can spread to other body parts, clothing (pudding shirt) and namely on top of their already jammy hands: this is known as Jam Hands Hoarding.
However, Jam Hands are known for their sharing. They like to mark their territory and think this is amazing, a gesture of unity. However, it is disgusting. Once you have observed a jam hands you will be quick to notice smears or other texturized traces that the Jam Hands leaves behind. You will learn the definition of repulsed.
Friends or observant people who are well aware of when a Jam Hands is in the room, tend to keep a 30 feet minimum distance from the Jam Hands at large and are quick to use public/personal hand sanitizer if available when an accidental/forced encounter with the jam hands or a certain surface that the Jam Hands has touched, has occurred.
"Daniel, keep your filthy jam hands away from me... oh gross it's in your hair now!"
Example: the kid from your third grade class, that smelt musky, who wore the same shirt every day for 2 weeks, that had 20 different types of chocolate stains on it, and would eat popsicles and the popsicle would melt onto his hands and then fabric fuzz would get stuck to the popsicle mess on his hands, and then he'd have yesterdays gravy on his face and it would be french kiss friday and people would dare you to kiss him and you would slightly vomit at the thought of it in your mouth, and the teacher would dump his desk on clean up monday and grilled cheese sandwiches from 2 months ago would fall out. Jam hands + Jam hands hoarding.
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The hand of the holy God Emperor of mankind in the warhammer 40'000 universe
I fapped to a picture of the Emperor's Hand today. FOR THE EMPEROR'S GLORY!
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