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*from One Jump Ahead in Aladin*
Aladin:
One jump ahead of the slowpokes,
One skip ahead of my doom.
Next time, I'm gonna use a nom-de-plume.
****************
Mark Twain's nom-de-plume is Samuel Clemens
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The act of performing an Eiffel Tower while riding a bicycle. Some users find that using a tandem makes this easier to accomplish. An eco-friendly and marginally safer alternative to bobbin' shotty.
Emergency room doctor: "How'd you break your leg, son?"
Pat: "Well, my buddy and I were totally riding a Tour de France on this chick on the bike path, when he lost his balance and we collided head-on with a trike."
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Contrary to a surprising public belief, Cindo de Mayo is not a holiday of independance. It celebrates the battle of Puebla(1862), when 2000 Mexican soldiers beat back 6000 French attackers under the rule of Napolean III. This is also the day that Napolean died. So far as I understand it, the holiday is celebrated much more in the US than in Mexico. We can thank the Corona beer company and college students for this.
"Cinco de Mayo is not Mexican Independance Day. That is September 16th."
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A last name given to a fuckin' bitch, who everyone hates and whose first name no one can ever fucking pronounce.
Wow, I hate _____ De Mello. He's such a fuckin' bitch, who everyone hates and whose name no one can ever fucking pronounce.
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1.) A good city with HOT WOMEN, but a very LARGE crime rate. They were thinking about putting up a wall to trap escaping bullets from the downtown area of the city, but instead lifted all speed limits so that travelers could go faster without being shot.
Brazilian A: Let's do a driveby!
Brazilian B: We can't since the speed limit was lifted. People drive way to fast, and I can't even hit them
Brazilian A: Fuck you, man
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It's something that you shouldn't do, but you do anyway!
"Hey Torquemada, whaddaya say?"
"I just got back from the auto de fe!"
-quoted from Mel Brook's History of the World Part I
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