I SHIP CHICKEN STRIPS AND PIZZA WAFFLES

I would have gotten the promotion, but my attendance wasn’t good enough.

I SHIP CHICKEN STRIPS AND PIZZA WAFFLES

I pity the fool

Mr. T's "I pity the fool" means he literally feels bad for the person on whom he will be whupping their ass.

I pity the fool who threads on me.

I cant believe you done this

A meme from the vine.

After betraying his tribe he was told by the other tribe's leader "I cant believe you done this"

I am leaving to get the milk

The last thing your father said before he left.

"I am leaving to get the milk." - Your father

Son, I am leaving to get the milk.

I was just about to do that

When someone who contributes nothing to the house wants to dissipate some guilt while trying to make the other person think more of them, while the listener just gets annoyed by how often it is said without action behind it

"are you doing the washing up? I was just about to do that."

You remind me of a software update. When I see you I usually think "not now."

What you say to someone you don't like.

You remind me of a software update. When I see you I usually think "not now."

I like the shit of your cock

I fancy way of saying, "I like your style".
Keep in mind, this is only said by adults and said to kids.

I like the shit of your cock, kid.