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Just your local drug dealer
hey, have you seen Ethan?
all day every day!
A real ass dude that would fuck the shit outta u one second and ride or die for you the next. A real catch if you come across this guy don't let em slip away.
"Who is that nigga?" "That's Ethan"
Ethan is skinnier than a stick but eats things the size of a whale or two commercial cola-cola trucks stacked on top of each other. Instead of getting a vacuum cleaner, I get an Ethan because he eats everything and stays the size of a portable microwave. his face is shaped like a snail's eye and his eyebrows are like vertical ssbu stages. he calls himself the Catmaster and claims he could fit in a cat cage and honestly, he's older than me by two years and he brags that he's one inch taller than me - I mean, of course, this guy thinks height is everything when he's built like a stick.
He's the type of friend to come into your room and flex the strings that are his muscles to impress you. He's the type of friend to say he's not gay, but I could've sworn he was checking out that guy from earlier. if looks and smells could kill, I'd be dead already because he smells like regurgitated cat poop.
his freckles look like someone pooped and spreaded across his skin. he overuses 'your mom' jokes and he kinda looks like your casual white boy from america-
Ethan: I'm so awesome at gaming
Sianna: Please stop it and get some help.
Ethan: Your mom
A whiny little bitch, who doesn't know the jack shit about anything, but jerking off. He is, and will die a virgin, and has a penis the size of a Lego piece. If you so much as touch an Ethan, he will scream at you in a furious rage, crying and accusing you in any way possible. When in the rage, they somehow manage to summon the strength to chuck full sized live horse. An Ethan weighs 300 pounds and never works out and only eats chick-fil-a. Either that, or at the age of 34 is only three feet tall, and weighs 90 pounds. He has also has found a way to suck his own dick, and does it all day, and lives in his parent's attic, because his other siblings have already occupied the basement. At least it's better than a cardboard box! An Ethan has an unbelievable collection of useless and pointless talents, such as playing video games, and identifying and type of part in a dollar bill. He is also extremely ugly, and smells worse than shit, and only has a couple teeth remaining in his head. He also has a head the size of a beach ball, but his face is as big as ping-pong ball.
"Do you see that homeless guy over there? He must be an Ethan"