Hobo Wank

Male masturbation which involves putting a banana skin in the microwave for 10 seconds, putting your shlong inside it and jacking off.

Dick was feeling adventurous so he decided to have a Hobo Wank.

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Monkey Wank

The act of masturbating whilst making loud monkey noises, such as 'ooooh eeeh ah ah ah oooh ahh ahhh!'

''Christy was screaming last night in his room. I think he was having a monkey wank!''

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turd-wank

A male who is of disrespectful manner to a female stranger. Particularly with sexual requests or intentions. Turd wanks tend to be very conceited (i.e. someone who talks 'at' you and not 'to' you.), devious and annoying.

Liz: "I was visiting italy once, and while i was sitting on a staircase with my friend, this complete turd-wank came up to us and started trying to make conversation with us. Then we had enough and walked away and he was like 'wait! will you let me take you to dinner?! I will buy you a dress and you can keep it if you make love to me!'. "

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Clit Wank

The act of rubbing the clitoris up and down the shaft of the penis.

I love it when she gives me a clit wank, before I kick her back doors in, and finish her off with a donkey punch.

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party wank

An act of masturbation or wanking performed when your family/flatmates are out and you are at home alone, allowing you to knock one out without having to worry about getting caught, and enabling you to view pornography with the volume turned way up.

"Hey man, I'm having a party wank at my place tonight."

"Well make sure you check every room first."

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bum wank

To wipe your arse crack over your victims nose in a forward and back motion. Thus leaving a shitty smell in their nose.

Eric was so annoying that Dave gave him a bum wank.

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Pity wank

When you'r ex cannot stop thinking about you when they wank, then say something along the lines of 'I only liked you out of pity'
Sarcastic term used to show the stupidity of a person degrading you when they obviously still wank over you.

'Oh, yeah, cos people always pity wank'

'Ugh, shes ugly...but I would give her a pity wank'

'He sent me a letter saying he wanks over me, but when I called him said he only liked me out of pity...Im obvs just a pity wank porn star'

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